It seems everywhere my family and I have gone over the past few weeks we have seen a baby bird on the ground. Now I assume that the majority of these little guys were blown out of their nests. However, I wonder if there were not a few who were gently kicked out of their nest.
For a bird, I assume, a nest is a comfortable place. It is where family is. It is where food is brought to them. It is a place where they have everything they need, at least for the first part of their life… But there comes a time when they must leave the nest, they must learn to fly; they must begin learning new lessons outside the nest that will help prepare them to have their own little bird family in the future.
Two weeks ago I had my first phone meeting with a coach that I have been assigned. This is not a coach that will get my body in shape, though I probably need one of those. This is a coach to help push me out of my comfort zones. To help me wade through the stuff I deal with. He is there to help me begin asking the right questions, and point me to resources to help move in the right direction. Most of the things my coach and I have discussed are things I have wanted to do, I have been planning to do. But when there is another person asking about how this or that is going, or how such and such is coming along, there is a bit more urgency to make progress, to show some movement in these areas…
Many of us need that urgency in our lives to begin. When I was around 5 my Mom babysat 2 kids. They had a pool at their house. I stayed in the shallow end of the pool, mainly because I became pretty nervous around that deeper end. One day the older boy (he was about 5 years older than I was) threw me into the deep end. I did not have time to think about how I really did not know how to swim, or what the proper swim stroke might be to get myself out of this jam (even if I had known any)… The only thought in my head was, get your head above the water. Once that was accomplished, the next objective was to keep it above the water. There was an urgency to get those things done. Once those first two objectives were met, things weren’t so bad. The scary end of the pool was not so scary any more.
Sometimes we find ourselves out of our comfort zone. We may have been blown out of our comfort zone where we have to learn to live where we find ourselves. We may be gently, or not so gently, kicked out of our nest to begin learning new lessons for life. We may have someone come along side us to help us to begin asking the right questions, moving in the right direction and encouraging us to take the next step to move forward. Or we may just have some bigger kid think it’s time for us to sink or swim… Sometimes we can resist being taken out of our comfort zone, other times we don’t have a choice. Either way, we need to learn what we can today so that we can continue to move forward tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
RIght? Wrong?
Our Church has a softball team. We play a season in the Fall and in the Spring. It was not too many season ago that we won our Division in the Church League. This Spring Season our team has had several of our regular team members move away from the area, a few had work conflicts, one was deployed… This Season we were moved up a division from what we are used to playing.
This has been a rough season for our team both on and off the diamond. Many of our team members have had something traumatic happen off the field. For many seasons the diamond was a place we could come to and relieve some of the stuff that goes on in our lives. Not this season.
In the past when our team played a team that struggled we did our best not to run rule (if one team scores too much more than the other team, the game is called) the other team. We felt it was only right for our team and their team to play the full 50 minutes allotted us a game. This season in a different division with teams we haven’t played, or haven’t played in a while, we were not shown the same courtesy. Of the 9 games we have played, we only played one complete game. The other eight games we were run ruled. We had several on our team say it is wrong of the other team to run rule us, to not let us get to play our full 50 minutes...
You have heard it before, not everything is black and white. More often than not, it is more about what we value and what they value. Our value was to go out and have a good time, to play our allotted time and enjoy the time we had together. Many of the teams we played this season, their value was to play at the highest level they could, no matter what that did to the other team… We are not necessarily right, and they are not necessarily wrong, each team valued something differently.
Too often in our lives we call things right and wrong when it is really an issue of values. Someone values something differently than we do. Our knee jerk reaction is to say they are in the wrong, how can they not see things my way… More often than not it’s because they place a different value on it. What arguments or conflicts have you been in recently? If we can take a step back and try to see the situation from a higher vantage point we may find that the argument or the conflict was not so much about who was right and who was wrong, but more about valuing something differently. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there is a right and there is a wrong, but too often we confuse right and wrong with preferences and values. Next time you get into an argument, as hard as this might be, you might try seeing things from a different perspective, you might just find it’s not a right or wrong argument but where you are placing your values…
This has been a rough season for our team both on and off the diamond. Many of our team members have had something traumatic happen off the field. For many seasons the diamond was a place we could come to and relieve some of the stuff that goes on in our lives. Not this season.
In the past when our team played a team that struggled we did our best not to run rule (if one team scores too much more than the other team, the game is called) the other team. We felt it was only right for our team and their team to play the full 50 minutes allotted us a game. This season in a different division with teams we haven’t played, or haven’t played in a while, we were not shown the same courtesy. Of the 9 games we have played, we only played one complete game. The other eight games we were run ruled. We had several on our team say it is wrong of the other team to run rule us, to not let us get to play our full 50 minutes...
You have heard it before, not everything is black and white. More often than not, it is more about what we value and what they value. Our value was to go out and have a good time, to play our allotted time and enjoy the time we had together. Many of the teams we played this season, their value was to play at the highest level they could, no matter what that did to the other team… We are not necessarily right, and they are not necessarily wrong, each team valued something differently.
Too often in our lives we call things right and wrong when it is really an issue of values. Someone values something differently than we do. Our knee jerk reaction is to say they are in the wrong, how can they not see things my way… More often than not it’s because they place a different value on it. What arguments or conflicts have you been in recently? If we can take a step back and try to see the situation from a higher vantage point we may find that the argument or the conflict was not so much about who was right and who was wrong, but more about valuing something differently. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there is a right and there is a wrong, but too often we confuse right and wrong with preferences and values. Next time you get into an argument, as hard as this might be, you might try seeing things from a different perspective, you might just find it’s not a right or wrong argument but where you are placing your values…
Letting Go
Our kids will soon finish another school year. For my family, this ending is a little different. It is different because it brings on another first for our oldest. Our oldest will be at the Intermediate school next year. I was very impressed that the soon to be Intermediate School students were given a tour of what will be their new school. I was also very impressed that some of the 5th graders assisted in the tour. Now I am not usually one who dwells on these things, but this change makes me a little anxious.
Remembering back to when I was my son’s age, I changed a whole lot. My Mom began to give me more responsibility. Mom would send me to the store to pick up a few things that she needed. It became my responsibility to mow the yard, to make sure my pet was taken care of, etc. My Mom also gave me a little more freedom. I could go for a bike ride, which eventually took me all over town. I could meet my friends down at the park and play all afternoon.
Thinking about giving my oldest the same responsibilities and freedoms is what makes me a little anxious. Is he ready for those same responsibilities and freedoms? I don’t think he is, but then I have to ask myself if I am holding him back? Did my Mom have the same anxiousness that I am now experiencing? Did she question her own judgment the first time she let me ride my bike out of sight? Did she have to say yes through gritted teeth to things she really wanted to say no to, because she knew I needed the experience to grow up? Am I not affording him the same opportunity?
There are times in our lives we must choose to let go (at least a little). As a child, a parent, an employee, a boss, etc., we have to let go of those things we find comfort in, so that we are able to grow. I have to let go of my children so they can grow up. My children will have to let go of me so they can grow up. I have to let those who work with me go so they can grow in their competencies. And at the same time, I have to begin letting go of the safety net of those I work for to grow in my competence…
Do you find it hard to let go? Do you find it hard to let your children begin to make decisions on their own, to have increased responsibility, increased freedom? It may not be so much about them as it is about us. Maybe it is more about our own anxiousness over our changing role than it is about theirs… Change happens all the time. Do we struggle against it and not allow it take us where it needs to? Or do we embrace change and begin to determine where it will take us, and live in where it will lead us?
Remembering back to when I was my son’s age, I changed a whole lot. My Mom began to give me more responsibility. Mom would send me to the store to pick up a few things that she needed. It became my responsibility to mow the yard, to make sure my pet was taken care of, etc. My Mom also gave me a little more freedom. I could go for a bike ride, which eventually took me all over town. I could meet my friends down at the park and play all afternoon.
Thinking about giving my oldest the same responsibilities and freedoms is what makes me a little anxious. Is he ready for those same responsibilities and freedoms? I don’t think he is, but then I have to ask myself if I am holding him back? Did my Mom have the same anxiousness that I am now experiencing? Did she question her own judgment the first time she let me ride my bike out of sight? Did she have to say yes through gritted teeth to things she really wanted to say no to, because she knew I needed the experience to grow up? Am I not affording him the same opportunity?
There are times in our lives we must choose to let go (at least a little). As a child, a parent, an employee, a boss, etc., we have to let go of those things we find comfort in, so that we are able to grow. I have to let go of my children so they can grow up. My children will have to let go of me so they can grow up. I have to let those who work with me go so they can grow in their competencies. And at the same time, I have to begin letting go of the safety net of those I work for to grow in my competence…
Do you find it hard to let go? Do you find it hard to let your children begin to make decisions on their own, to have increased responsibility, increased freedom? It may not be so much about them as it is about us. Maybe it is more about our own anxiousness over our changing role than it is about theirs… Change happens all the time. Do we struggle against it and not allow it take us where it needs to? Or do we embrace change and begin to determine where it will take us, and live in where it will lead us?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Remembering My Baptism
Our Church recently celebrated with seven of our youth and children the sacrament (sacred moment) of Baptism. I have spent time with several of these over the past few months in a process of confirmation (a process of strengthening their faith).
As the day of their baptism grew closer, I began to think of my own confirmation and baptism. There were many in my community who impacted my life in positive ways. I had Sunday School teachers, Youth ministry leaders/volunteers, Boy Scout leaders, Teachers, Band Directors, etc. that had an impact on my life.
On the day of my baptism, three people really stand out. One was my pastor. He was appointed to our church for eight years. He impacted my life in many ways. He ministered to my family as my Mom and Dad both faced life with cancer. He also ministered to my family as we grieved their death but also celebrated their life. Another was a man who was transitioning into being the Youth Director for our church. He served in that position for a short time, but our lives crossed paths again when I moved to Lubbock to attend Texas Tech. He was the pastor of the church I attended in Lubbock, and he took me under his wing and was a guide that helped me discern what direction my life would take. The other was the man who was transitioning from being the Youth Director of our church. He spent several summers working with the Jr High and High School kids in the Church and community. He opened my eyes to possibilities that existed, if I just took the time to open my eyes to see them. At the time I could not really see how they were changing my life, but looking back, I can see how their influence has changed me.
These three men, and a host of others were on my mind as I remembered my own baptism, while helping to create a baptism memory for the seven that came before our church. I hope that what I do is making an impression on them. I hope that one day they will be able look back and see the influence myself and others had on their lives.
Who are the people that have influenced and impacted your life? A Coach? A Teacher? An Employer? A Neighbor? A Pastor? Who? Are you making the time in your life to influence and impact the life of someone else?
We can always hope someone else will take the time to make a difference. We can always hope someone else will step up to the challenge. But who misses out on being changed, being influenced or impacted when you and I don’t?
As the day of their baptism grew closer, I began to think of my own confirmation and baptism. There were many in my community who impacted my life in positive ways. I had Sunday School teachers, Youth ministry leaders/volunteers, Boy Scout leaders, Teachers, Band Directors, etc. that had an impact on my life.
On the day of my baptism, three people really stand out. One was my pastor. He was appointed to our church for eight years. He impacted my life in many ways. He ministered to my family as my Mom and Dad both faced life with cancer. He also ministered to my family as we grieved their death but also celebrated their life. Another was a man who was transitioning into being the Youth Director for our church. He served in that position for a short time, but our lives crossed paths again when I moved to Lubbock to attend Texas Tech. He was the pastor of the church I attended in Lubbock, and he took me under his wing and was a guide that helped me discern what direction my life would take. The other was the man who was transitioning from being the Youth Director of our church. He spent several summers working with the Jr High and High School kids in the Church and community. He opened my eyes to possibilities that existed, if I just took the time to open my eyes to see them. At the time I could not really see how they were changing my life, but looking back, I can see how their influence has changed me.
These three men, and a host of others were on my mind as I remembered my own baptism, while helping to create a baptism memory for the seven that came before our church. I hope that what I do is making an impression on them. I hope that one day they will be able look back and see the influence myself and others had on their lives.
Who are the people that have influenced and impacted your life? A Coach? A Teacher? An Employer? A Neighbor? A Pastor? Who? Are you making the time in your life to influence and impact the life of someone else?
We can always hope someone else will take the time to make a difference. We can always hope someone else will step up to the challenge. But who misses out on being changed, being influenced or impacted when you and I don’t?
Lunch Mistake
There are times I get so focused on what I am doing that I miss something more important. Recently I was volunteering at the school. I was there to volunteer my time and hopefully be a help to the teachers and staff at the school. One of the teachers approached me to tell me that one of my children was waiting for me to come eat with them.
I messed up. I was so focused on giving of my time to the school, I missed an opportunity my child was asking to have with me. In my head I was there to be a help to the school. That is what I was focused on. It didn’t occur to me that I could/should take a few minutes to spend with my child as they ate.
It is easy to be so focused, we miss important opportunities. Will my child bear an emotional scar because I did not take the time to eat with them? Probably not. But my child was asking for me. My child wanted my time and my attention. Because I was so focused on what I was doing, I missed an opportunity to be with my child.
How often do we miss moments because we are too focused? What is it that we miss out on because our focus becomes like a pair of blinders? Moments seem so inconsequential. Moments are so quick, so small they seem to not matter. Moments are what make a difference in lives. Moments are what change history. We live in a society that is so busy, so focused, that too often we miss having an impact, making a difference, giving time, love, attention, etc.
May you take moments to make a difference. May you be able to see the big picture and where you are needed most. May others be changed because you took a moment and changed a life!
I messed up. I was so focused on giving of my time to the school, I missed an opportunity my child was asking to have with me. In my head I was there to be a help to the school. That is what I was focused on. It didn’t occur to me that I could/should take a few minutes to spend with my child as they ate.
It is easy to be so focused, we miss important opportunities. Will my child bear an emotional scar because I did not take the time to eat with them? Probably not. But my child was asking for me. My child wanted my time and my attention. Because I was so focused on what I was doing, I missed an opportunity to be with my child.
How often do we miss moments because we are too focused? What is it that we miss out on because our focus becomes like a pair of blinders? Moments seem so inconsequential. Moments are so quick, so small they seem to not matter. Moments are what make a difference in lives. Moments are what change history. We live in a society that is so busy, so focused, that too often we miss having an impact, making a difference, giving time, love, attention, etc.
May you take moments to make a difference. May you be able to see the big picture and where you are needed most. May others be changed because you took a moment and changed a life!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Decisions...
One of the things I enjoy the most about my job, is that I get to work with children and youth. One of the things I enjoy most about working with children and youth is that each year, I have the opportunity to spend at least two months discussing history and faith.
I enjoy history. I like finding the connexions between different events that lead up to what we do or why we do what we do in today’s society. Over the past 8 weeks, I have met with four of our youth each Sunday. I have enjoyed getting to know them better, allowing them to get to know me better, and helping them learn about history and about our faith. A lot of history, especially church history, is about how the choices or decisions of someone have ripples that still affect others today. This is a topic we came back to often.
A Rule (a way of measuring how we are doing) attributed to the leader of the Methodist movement, John Wesley, was:
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as you ever can.
This Rule was a way to remind the people called Methodist that the decisions they made in the past must be lived out into the present and beyond. I know in my own life it is easy to choose to do something good, yet it is much more difficult to choose to do good in all that I do… I know that I need reminders in my life to help me remember choices and decisions I have made in the past, so that I can continue to honor them in the present and beyond.
There are some decisions that I no longer have to be reminded of. They have become a part of my life. I don’t have to be reminded I am a husband and a dad. Because of those choices, there are choices and decisions I don’t have to make because of those decisions I have already made. I cannot choose to fall in love with a woman other than my wife. I made that choice eleven years ago. We chose to have four kids. We cannot now chose to be the parents of only two of them.
There are days it would be much easier not to stay committed to decisions that were made. There are days it seems easier to just quit and start over. We grow or mature when we choose to live out decisions we’ve made.
How are you reminded of the decisions you’ve made (anniversary’s, etc.)? Are there decisions you have made that you find it hard to live out? Press on, grow, and see the difference you make….
I enjoy history. I like finding the connexions between different events that lead up to what we do or why we do what we do in today’s society. Over the past 8 weeks, I have met with four of our youth each Sunday. I have enjoyed getting to know them better, allowing them to get to know me better, and helping them learn about history and about our faith. A lot of history, especially church history, is about how the choices or decisions of someone have ripples that still affect others today. This is a topic we came back to often.
A Rule (a way of measuring how we are doing) attributed to the leader of the Methodist movement, John Wesley, was:
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as you ever can.
This Rule was a way to remind the people called Methodist that the decisions they made in the past must be lived out into the present and beyond. I know in my own life it is easy to choose to do something good, yet it is much more difficult to choose to do good in all that I do… I know that I need reminders in my life to help me remember choices and decisions I have made in the past, so that I can continue to honor them in the present and beyond.
There are some decisions that I no longer have to be reminded of. They have become a part of my life. I don’t have to be reminded I am a husband and a dad. Because of those choices, there are choices and decisions I don’t have to make because of those decisions I have already made. I cannot choose to fall in love with a woman other than my wife. I made that choice eleven years ago. We chose to have four kids. We cannot now chose to be the parents of only two of them.
There are days it would be much easier not to stay committed to decisions that were made. There are days it seems easier to just quit and start over. We grow or mature when we choose to live out decisions we’ve made.
How are you reminded of the decisions you’ve made (anniversary’s, etc.)? Are there decisions you have made that you find it hard to live out? Press on, grow, and see the difference you make….
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Health Warnings
My daughter made me a get well card yesterday. I have been sick for a little over a week, longer than I chose to recognize I was sick. I noticed a few of the signs early, but chose to ignore or explain them away. I don’t like being sick. I don’t like my wife or kids to know I am sick, because they worry, and in my role as Dad and Husband they shouldn’t worry about me (at least that is the understanding of the roles of Father/Husband I picked up on from an early age, and am slowly learning they might not be the healthiest understanding of my roles…). I don’t like to miss work. I like what I do (at least most days).
Over the past two years though, I have been sick more than I have in my life, at least that’s the way it feels. I would like to blame it on my environment, but I figure that is not really the answer. I think the truthful answer is that my body is maturing (I am told that’s just another way of saying getting older) and it can’t continue to be put through the unhealthy lifestyle of my late teens and twenties.
Over the past two years I have slowly started to learn my body gives me signs when I am about to get sick. Sometimes I heed the warnings, but often times I choose to ignore them or explain them away. When I choose to listen to the warnings I don’t get as sick, my wife and kids don’t have to worry (as much), I don’t have to miss doing the things I enjoy…
It is healthier for us to listen to the warnings signs of our bodies, our relationships, etc. But most of us have not taken the time to learn what those warning signs are, or we choose to ignore them. Too many of us have falsely believed we can just power through getting sick or conflict or whatever. Many of us choose to live and relate unhealthily, and eventually it does catch up to us. Our bodies and our relationships will only take so much. Eventually our bodies will make us stop and attempt to recover. Eventually those that we are in relationship with will say enough. Have you taken the time to learn the warning signs of your life? Do you chose to listen to those signs? When we don’t, we suffer when we don’t have to, and those around us go through stuff they don’t have to….
Over the past two years though, I have been sick more than I have in my life, at least that’s the way it feels. I would like to blame it on my environment, but I figure that is not really the answer. I think the truthful answer is that my body is maturing (I am told that’s just another way of saying getting older) and it can’t continue to be put through the unhealthy lifestyle of my late teens and twenties.
Over the past two years I have slowly started to learn my body gives me signs when I am about to get sick. Sometimes I heed the warnings, but often times I choose to ignore them or explain them away. When I choose to listen to the warnings I don’t get as sick, my wife and kids don’t have to worry (as much), I don’t have to miss doing the things I enjoy…
It is healthier for us to listen to the warnings signs of our bodies, our relationships, etc. But most of us have not taken the time to learn what those warning signs are, or we choose to ignore them. Too many of us have falsely believed we can just power through getting sick or conflict or whatever. Many of us choose to live and relate unhealthily, and eventually it does catch up to us. Our bodies and our relationships will only take so much. Eventually our bodies will make us stop and attempt to recover. Eventually those that we are in relationship with will say enough. Have you taken the time to learn the warning signs of your life? Do you chose to listen to those signs? When we don’t, we suffer when we don’t have to, and those around us go through stuff they don’t have to….
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)