“…and they lived happily ever after.” I don’t know how many times I have had to read that phrase to close a book. My daughter loves stories about princesses, and in our household she is THE Princess. She loves to hear about the obstacles the princess overcomes. She enjoys hearing about the handsome prince riding in and sweeping the princess off her feet, about riding into the distant horizon where they will live happily ever after.
That phrase, that ending to the book sounds so captivating, so enchanting. But it isn’t reality. We don’t hear about the struggles they deal with as they govern their fair kingdom. We don’t hear about the fights they have because their wonderful loving spouse doesn’t squeeze the toothpaste correctly, or doesn’t put the toilet paper on the roll the correct way. We don’t hear about how they deal with babies who wake up crying at 2:30 in the morning. We don’t hear about what they do when their finances get tight.
“Happily ever after” doesn’t tell the whole story. It doesn’t tell the story about life and truly living. Life can be difficult. When we truly live we are going to run into problems, some we cause and some are caused because others don’t want us to live. While fairy tales are fun to read (for some) and are enjoyed by others, they are not the whole story. We need to tell our children our stories and those of our parents and grandparents. The stories of how we dealt with our obstacles, of how we dealt with crying babies and more month at the end of our money. We need to give them a different hope, not about a prince or a genie or a fairy god mother sweeping in to save the day, but a hope about how to really live. We need to share a hope that there are opportunities out there, those opportunities might just look like obstacles at first. A hope that “happily ever after” is not about riding into the sunset to never be heard from again, but “happily ever after” might just look more like getting a colicky child back to sleep, or getting this month’s bills paid, or having a quiet moment with our spouse without a telephone ringing or children looking for our attention.
May you find life in truly living this week. May you find a way through your obstacles this week. May you begin to live a real “happily ever after” this week.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Just out of sight...
I feel that I was very fortunate growing up. My Mom and Dad provided a pretty good life for my brother and me. I don’t think it was the life they anticipated as they began to date, as they courted, and began their marriage. But then again no one can anticipate what the future truly holds. My parents separated and divorced before I learned how to tie my shoes in First Grade. During their courting and falling in love with each other, I bet it never occurred to them that it could all end with such pain, with such heart ache, with such hate. I am sure there are things my parents wish they had known about each other before they said “I do” in front of friends and family. I am also sure there were pleasant surprises along the way that they never would have known about each other until they made a commitment to each other and chose to live their lives together.
I have been told often that Hindsight is 20/20. If we only knew what was just ahead of us, just out of sight, would we run bravely into the future or would we tread carefully, slowly into that future? My family has a ranch just outside of my hometown. There is a creek that runs through a portion of our land. Well, to say it runs is a bit of an overstatement. We have a creek bed running through a portion of our land. From up above, along the canyon wall (I’m not really sure you could call it a canyon) it looks like an old dried up creek bed, but every once in a while you might spot a wet spot in the shade or a pool of “standing” water in a bend. If you move the short distance from the top of the canyon into the creek bed you might find something a little different, especially if you look back on where you have been. As you walk through the creek bed you leave footprints. After a few minutes those footprints fill with the water that lies just under the surface of the creek bed. The water is there, it’s just out of sight. The water provides for the health and growth of the area. It’s just not easily seen.
At my Aunt and Uncle’s house they had an open sewer area out behind their house. The area was hard to see and the “water” was just out of sight. Trust me one of the last things you wanted to do was to look back and realize what you had just stepped through.
There is stuff in our lives and in the lives of other people that is there, it’s just out of sight. It would be very helpful if we knew it was there, but they are no warning signs. There may be great things we just can’t quite see until we look back, or they may be things we want to be a little more cautious with, or things that would be a deal breaker and we need to run from, but they are just out of sight until we look back.
My wish would be that no one would have to go through the pains of love gone wrong. But that’s not real life. Real life is hard and so much of what goes on we don’t really see until we look back. But we can’t stay looking back or we will never make any progress. We have to step forward into the unknown. Sometimes good things will pop up, at other times not so good things will come out. We will never know if we don’t live.
I have been told often that Hindsight is 20/20. If we only knew what was just ahead of us, just out of sight, would we run bravely into the future or would we tread carefully, slowly into that future? My family has a ranch just outside of my hometown. There is a creek that runs through a portion of our land. Well, to say it runs is a bit of an overstatement. We have a creek bed running through a portion of our land. From up above, along the canyon wall (I’m not really sure you could call it a canyon) it looks like an old dried up creek bed, but every once in a while you might spot a wet spot in the shade or a pool of “standing” water in a bend. If you move the short distance from the top of the canyon into the creek bed you might find something a little different, especially if you look back on where you have been. As you walk through the creek bed you leave footprints. After a few minutes those footprints fill with the water that lies just under the surface of the creek bed. The water is there, it’s just out of sight. The water provides for the health and growth of the area. It’s just not easily seen.
At my Aunt and Uncle’s house they had an open sewer area out behind their house. The area was hard to see and the “water” was just out of sight. Trust me one of the last things you wanted to do was to look back and realize what you had just stepped through.
There is stuff in our lives and in the lives of other people that is there, it’s just out of sight. It would be very helpful if we knew it was there, but they are no warning signs. There may be great things we just can’t quite see until we look back, or they may be things we want to be a little more cautious with, or things that would be a deal breaker and we need to run from, but they are just out of sight until we look back.
My wish would be that no one would have to go through the pains of love gone wrong. But that’s not real life. Real life is hard and so much of what goes on we don’t really see until we look back. But we can’t stay looking back or we will never make any progress. We have to step forward into the unknown. Sometimes good things will pop up, at other times not so good things will come out. We will never know if we don’t live.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Football in the Fall
Growing up, my brother and I spent every other weekend with our Dad. In the fall, Saturdays were for two things: a trip to Amarillo and college football. Sunday’s were for two things, also: Church and professional football. Now my dad was a little different, you have to forgive him. He wasn’t born in these parts. My dad was born in Kentucky, lived in Indiana, and finally arrived in Texas. Saturdays we would watch the Southwest Conference teams battle it out for the Championship, IF and only if, the teams from the Big 10, or possibly the SEC, were not playing.
Being born in Kentucky, my dad took a liking to the Wildcats of the University of Kentucky (having lived in Kentucky for four years, I can tell you from personal experience, you can’t help but get caught up in the madness). Living in Indiana for a few years, my dad took a liking to the Chicago Bears and the Big 10. I never understood his fascination with “da” Bears, I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t root for my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins. I learned a lot on those Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and not a whole lot about football. It was a time Dad would talk and I would listen, soaking up all I could during the time we had together. I can remember in the early 90’s my dad expressing his displeasure with the University of Arkansas and their intentions of leaving the SWC and joining the SEC. He hoped that they would go winless that year (although I remember him using a little more colorful language) for upsetting the balance of power in the college athletics world. That afternoon, I learned about my father’s understanding of loyalty, about his views on college politics (being a college science professor for 27 years he had a lot of views on college politics), and many other topics that we had discussed and would continue to discuss.
My dad couldn’t teach me about all the x’s and o’s of football. He couldn’t go out in the backyard and teach me many of the fundamentals of football. My Dad’s feet were injured during boot camp long before I was born and he couldn’t do many of the things I believe he would have liked to have done when my brother and I were still young and impressionable. But those game times were important in my life, it was time with Dad. It was time he imparted to me things he felt were important and things he felt I needed to know, and learning how to express my own views and opinions.
There have been several days when I have found myself at Nelson Park playing Softball with a group of guys or at the Abilene Soccer Fields with my sons and other parents and children. I will be the first to confess that I don’t know a lot about softball or about soccer. But like the time with my dad, it’s not really about the game. It is about the time spent with others, learning more about them and their beliefs and views, and expressing my own. These are people who I did not know before I started playing softball or helping coach soccer, but now I appreciate them sharing their life with me, even if it is for just a few hours a week on a ball field.
I am looking forward to taking my boys to Bulldog stadium to watch some games, or to Jones AT&T stadium to watch our Texas Tech Red Raiders(who knows where else we may find ourselves), not so much to grow within them a love for football but to have that time with them. Maybe we will talk about the x’s and o’s of football, but maybe we talk about our faith, our views on politics, learn something more about each other.
Who do you share your life with? Who are you able to share your beliefs, your views, your opinions with? If you don’t have a person, a group to do that with, maybe it’s time to take up a hobby or spend some time with others learning to do something new. After all, it’s not really about your new hobby or activity, it’s about adding life and meaning to the existence we have during our time here on earth.
Being born in Kentucky, my dad took a liking to the Wildcats of the University of Kentucky (having lived in Kentucky for four years, I can tell you from personal experience, you can’t help but get caught up in the madness). Living in Indiana for a few years, my dad took a liking to the Chicago Bears and the Big 10. I never understood his fascination with “da” Bears, I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t root for my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins. I learned a lot on those Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and not a whole lot about football. It was a time Dad would talk and I would listen, soaking up all I could during the time we had together. I can remember in the early 90’s my dad expressing his displeasure with the University of Arkansas and their intentions of leaving the SWC and joining the SEC. He hoped that they would go winless that year (although I remember him using a little more colorful language) for upsetting the balance of power in the college athletics world. That afternoon, I learned about my father’s understanding of loyalty, about his views on college politics (being a college science professor for 27 years he had a lot of views on college politics), and many other topics that we had discussed and would continue to discuss.
My dad couldn’t teach me about all the x’s and o’s of football. He couldn’t go out in the backyard and teach me many of the fundamentals of football. My Dad’s feet were injured during boot camp long before I was born and he couldn’t do many of the things I believe he would have liked to have done when my brother and I were still young and impressionable. But those game times were important in my life, it was time with Dad. It was time he imparted to me things he felt were important and things he felt I needed to know, and learning how to express my own views and opinions.
There have been several days when I have found myself at Nelson Park playing Softball with a group of guys or at the Abilene Soccer Fields with my sons and other parents and children. I will be the first to confess that I don’t know a lot about softball or about soccer. But like the time with my dad, it’s not really about the game. It is about the time spent with others, learning more about them and their beliefs and views, and expressing my own. These are people who I did not know before I started playing softball or helping coach soccer, but now I appreciate them sharing their life with me, even if it is for just a few hours a week on a ball field.
I am looking forward to taking my boys to Bulldog stadium to watch some games, or to Jones AT&T stadium to watch our Texas Tech Red Raiders(who knows where else we may find ourselves), not so much to grow within them a love for football but to have that time with them. Maybe we will talk about the x’s and o’s of football, but maybe we talk about our faith, our views on politics, learn something more about each other.
Who do you share your life with? Who are you able to share your beliefs, your views, your opinions with? If you don’t have a person, a group to do that with, maybe it’s time to take up a hobby or spend some time with others learning to do something new. After all, it’s not really about your new hobby or activity, it’s about adding life and meaning to the existence we have during our time here on earth.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Life was so much easier...
This past weekend my wife’s parents took our 4 year old for the long weekend. My wife’s sister took our 7 year old and our 5 year old for the long weekend. That left only our 21 month old at home for the weekend. Our normal everyday activities suddenly seemed much easier.
It was not that long ago that I was overwhelmed with the addition of our first child. Things that should have been easy, took on a more difficult nature. Trying to clean the house, or prepare a meal, or study for class was not as easy as it once was because now this little person demanded some of the time I was attempting to focus elsewhere. I can remember thinking, “How do other people do this?” I had a difficult time balancing life with a child, and school, and work, and responsibilities as a husband, and … Eventually I must have gotten the hang of it. But I had the same feelings when child #2 came, and with child #3, and child #4…
My wife and I laughed this past weekend remembering when we thought life with one child was overwhelming. Looking back, we did not realize how easy life really was. At the time, we were not used to another person demanding so much of our time and energy. That was our reality, for a time. Somewhere along this journey we learned how to balance things a little better, to where we were not as overwhelmed. It took us learning from our first child to prepare us for our second. It took us learning from our first and second child to prepare us for our third…
In school some of us had to struggle through addition and subtraction so that we could overcome the problems we faced in Algebra, and geometry. Some of us had to struggle with rules of grammar and spelling to be able to overcome the problem of research papers and thesis’ papers.
Life can get overwhelming. Tasks that should not be difficult, are, because of circumstances we find ourselves in or the choices we have made. When we experience times of difficulty, or find ourselves overwhelmed with the goings on of life, these just might be times that are preparing us for the next chapter of our life!
The stuff we deal with now might feel more like a struggle than an opportunity, but dealing with it just might prepare us for the next opportunity that comes along.
Our difficulties and problems today may really be opportunities for tomorrow. At least that’s what I keep telling myself as we now try to adjust to three kids in school, two kids in soccer, one child in ballet and dance classes, along with school activities, church activities, etc. I wait for the day when we can look back on today and see the bigger picture and notice all the blessings we didn’t notice in the midst of our difficulties.
It was not that long ago that I was overwhelmed with the addition of our first child. Things that should have been easy, took on a more difficult nature. Trying to clean the house, or prepare a meal, or study for class was not as easy as it once was because now this little person demanded some of the time I was attempting to focus elsewhere. I can remember thinking, “How do other people do this?” I had a difficult time balancing life with a child, and school, and work, and responsibilities as a husband, and … Eventually I must have gotten the hang of it. But I had the same feelings when child #2 came, and with child #3, and child #4…
My wife and I laughed this past weekend remembering when we thought life with one child was overwhelming. Looking back, we did not realize how easy life really was. At the time, we were not used to another person demanding so much of our time and energy. That was our reality, for a time. Somewhere along this journey we learned how to balance things a little better, to where we were not as overwhelmed. It took us learning from our first child to prepare us for our second. It took us learning from our first and second child to prepare us for our third…
In school some of us had to struggle through addition and subtraction so that we could overcome the problems we faced in Algebra, and geometry. Some of us had to struggle with rules of grammar and spelling to be able to overcome the problem of research papers and thesis’ papers.
Life can get overwhelming. Tasks that should not be difficult, are, because of circumstances we find ourselves in or the choices we have made. When we experience times of difficulty, or find ourselves overwhelmed with the goings on of life, these just might be times that are preparing us for the next chapter of our life!
The stuff we deal with now might feel more like a struggle than an opportunity, but dealing with it just might prepare us for the next opportunity that comes along.
Our difficulties and problems today may really be opportunities for tomorrow. At least that’s what I keep telling myself as we now try to adjust to three kids in school, two kids in soccer, one child in ballet and dance classes, along with school activities, church activities, etc. I wait for the day when we can look back on today and see the bigger picture and notice all the blessings we didn’t notice in the midst of our difficulties.
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