We are bombarded regularly with requests to commit ourselves to one endeavor or another. I receive requests at least once a week, if not once a day, to give my time, my energy, or my money to someone or something. There are those that ask me to support an orphanage or a missionary, or research to find a cure for this disease, etc. There are very few requests that I look at and think “Seriously, you want me to consider giving my time, energy or money towards that?”
Over the last several decades the idea of committing ourselves to something has been watered down. While working on my master’s degree one of my professors recommended a book titled Bowling Alone. The author looked at the changes in our country over the past 60+ years. When our troops returned home from World War II there was a surge in people becoming a member of a group, committing their life to being a part of something. Most people were members of just a few groups because of the commitment required of these groups. In the decades that followed membership requirements of many groups/organizations were softened so that more people could become a member of their particular group. The effect was for a short amount of time membership in most groups went up, but the long term effect is that commitment has gone down.
I can “commit” myself to hundreds of groups/organizations… I can be a “member” of countless things… For the most part, all it requires of me is to make a regular donation of my money. I can be a part of groups and never attend a function, as long as they have received my regular financial contribution.
But, committing ourselves to something, being a member of something should require more of us. We should be more selective about what we give our time, our energy, and our financial resources to. There are countless groups that want a commitment from us, that want our membership, but how many of these groups are we truly passionate about? How many do we really want to give our time to? How many do we intend to exert energy for? How many will use our financial resources for projects that make a difference, and we are passionate about?
We can commit ourselves to many things, but not truly be a part of anything. We can be a member of many groups but not make a difference anywhere. We need to be more selective of who gets our time, who gets our resources, etc. So that what we commit to aligns with those areas we are passionate about making a difference in.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Making a Difference
I am a part of several groups, teams, and committees that discuss how to better meet the needs and serve those who live within the boundaries of our area. It was not long ago that I attend a meeting where we discussed meeting the needs of a specific demographic within our area. Everyone agreed that something needed to be done to meet the needs of this specific group.
It just so happened that we had several present from this demographic. Someone had the bright idea to ask them what it would take to begin working with them to meet their needs. These people began to open up about their lives and what it is that they need in their lives. I was a little surprised someone actually asked them the question. I was a little more surprised at how open these people were about how we could help. I was utterly shocked at the response by some of those seated around me.
I overheard a few people around me say something to the effect; “No one has ever done that for us, why should we do that for them?” Now I think that response was intended to be a whisper, but it did not come out that way.
It can be easy to point at the problems we experience in community, in organizations, in families, etc. It gets a little harder when prescriptions are put forward to make the group better, or healthier. Following a prescription usually requires that I make a change in my life. Change is not always easy. Change is especially difficult when the benefit of the change that is required doesn’t directly affect me.
It is an optimistic desire to want to help those we see that have a need. It is a selfish desire to want to meet their needs without it changing us. The question really comes down to, “Do I really want to make a difference?” I think most of us want things to be different in our community, in the organizations we are a part of, our families, etc., but are we willing to be a part of making the difference? If so, we need to make changes to our lives so that we have opportunities to help those around us.
It just so happened that we had several present from this demographic. Someone had the bright idea to ask them what it would take to begin working with them to meet their needs. These people began to open up about their lives and what it is that they need in their lives. I was a little surprised someone actually asked them the question. I was a little more surprised at how open these people were about how we could help. I was utterly shocked at the response by some of those seated around me.
I overheard a few people around me say something to the effect; “No one has ever done that for us, why should we do that for them?” Now I think that response was intended to be a whisper, but it did not come out that way.
It can be easy to point at the problems we experience in community, in organizations, in families, etc. It gets a little harder when prescriptions are put forward to make the group better, or healthier. Following a prescription usually requires that I make a change in my life. Change is not always easy. Change is especially difficult when the benefit of the change that is required doesn’t directly affect me.
It is an optimistic desire to want to help those we see that have a need. It is a selfish desire to want to meet their needs without it changing us. The question really comes down to, “Do I really want to make a difference?” I think most of us want things to be different in our community, in the organizations we are a part of, our families, etc., but are we willing to be a part of making the difference? If so, we need to make changes to our lives so that we have opportunities to help those around us.
Trust
Recently, following a meeting, a young man approached me. I have met this young man several times but he doesn’t ever seem to remember me. He motioned me to follow him out of ear shot of the rest of the group, so I followed him. He wanted to know more about one of the activities at the Church. About that time one of the people responsible for the activity walked by and I tried to introduce the two. The young man was more interested in discussing it with me; I thought because he knew who I was. It was not long before he confessed that he had been very nervous about coming and asking about the activity as he had really wanted to talk with the pastor of the church about the activity yet had gotten really nervous about talking to the pastor.
This evening I was with a different group. We were in a parking lot and needed a boost to get our vehicle started. The problem was that there were not many cars in the parking lot, and very few people seemed to be heading to a vehicle. I saw a lady with a young girl getting into an SUV. I called out to the lady and asked if she wouldn’t mind giving our vehicle a boost. She looked at me a little distrustfully and said, “I am really sorry, I don’t know how to do that, and would really prefer not to…” Now I don’t really blame this lady for not helping us. She was just trying to get her little one and herself into their vehicle and head home. The way she had looked at our group and especially at me, there seemed to be some distrust in her eyes.
It’s easy to say someone shouldn’t be nervous talking to me. When I look in the mirror the last thing I see is someone who evokes nervousness or distrust in others. I see someone who should be easy to talk to, someone who is worthy of placing trust in. Unfortunately, that is not how everyone else sees me. I hope that those that know me well see me this way, and I hope that those who don’t know me can see through my faults and see the me that is in there somewhere.… But we know ourselves, we know our friends. Others don’t, and most of us have grown up being taught to distrust strangers.
We often fear what we don’t know. I didn’t know the young man at the meeting very well, and I admit I was a little afraid of what he wanted to ask me. I had never seen the lady in the parking lot before and probably never will again, but I was a little hesitant to approach her to ask for help. I was even about to stop one of our group from approaching a foreign looking and sounding man. Yet it was this stranger who took of his own time to help us out of our predicament.
We can’t control how others perceive us. We can’t control if a stranger trusts us or not. We can however, act towards others how we hope to be treated. When someone needs help, you can stop to see what you can do for them. As difficult as it might be, trust someone who hasn’t earned your trust. We all find ourselves at times in different places with people we don’t know. In those times when we need help, we hope someone will come to our aid. We need to extend help to those who find themselves in a different place with unfamiliar people, to be the answer to their prayer, their hope in flesh, offering hands and feet to help…
This evening I was with a different group. We were in a parking lot and needed a boost to get our vehicle started. The problem was that there were not many cars in the parking lot, and very few people seemed to be heading to a vehicle. I saw a lady with a young girl getting into an SUV. I called out to the lady and asked if she wouldn’t mind giving our vehicle a boost. She looked at me a little distrustfully and said, “I am really sorry, I don’t know how to do that, and would really prefer not to…” Now I don’t really blame this lady for not helping us. She was just trying to get her little one and herself into their vehicle and head home. The way she had looked at our group and especially at me, there seemed to be some distrust in her eyes.
It’s easy to say someone shouldn’t be nervous talking to me. When I look in the mirror the last thing I see is someone who evokes nervousness or distrust in others. I see someone who should be easy to talk to, someone who is worthy of placing trust in. Unfortunately, that is not how everyone else sees me. I hope that those that know me well see me this way, and I hope that those who don’t know me can see through my faults and see the me that is in there somewhere.… But we know ourselves, we know our friends. Others don’t, and most of us have grown up being taught to distrust strangers.
We often fear what we don’t know. I didn’t know the young man at the meeting very well, and I admit I was a little afraid of what he wanted to ask me. I had never seen the lady in the parking lot before and probably never will again, but I was a little hesitant to approach her to ask for help. I was even about to stop one of our group from approaching a foreign looking and sounding man. Yet it was this stranger who took of his own time to help us out of our predicament.
We can’t control how others perceive us. We can’t control if a stranger trusts us or not. We can however, act towards others how we hope to be treated. When someone needs help, you can stop to see what you can do for them. As difficult as it might be, trust someone who hasn’t earned your trust. We all find ourselves at times in different places with people we don’t know. In those times when we need help, we hope someone will come to our aid. We need to extend help to those who find themselves in a different place with unfamiliar people, to be the answer to their prayer, their hope in flesh, offering hands and feet to help…
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