Our Church has a softball team. We play a season in the Fall and in the Spring. It was not too many season ago that we won our Division in the Church League. This Spring Season our team has had several of our regular team members move away from the area, a few had work conflicts, one was deployed… This Season we were moved up a division from what we are used to playing.
This has been a rough season for our team both on and off the diamond. Many of our team members have had something traumatic happen off the field. For many seasons the diamond was a place we could come to and relieve some of the stuff that goes on in our lives. Not this season.
In the past when our team played a team that struggled we did our best not to run rule (if one team scores too much more than the other team, the game is called) the other team. We felt it was only right for our team and their team to play the full 50 minutes allotted us a game. This season in a different division with teams we haven’t played, or haven’t played in a while, we were not shown the same courtesy. Of the 9 games we have played, we only played one complete game. The other eight games we were run ruled. We had several on our team say it is wrong of the other team to run rule us, to not let us get to play our full 50 minutes...
You have heard it before, not everything is black and white. More often than not, it is more about what we value and what they value. Our value was to go out and have a good time, to play our allotted time and enjoy the time we had together. Many of the teams we played this season, their value was to play at the highest level they could, no matter what that did to the other team… We are not necessarily right, and they are not necessarily wrong, each team valued something differently.
Too often in our lives we call things right and wrong when it is really an issue of values. Someone values something differently than we do. Our knee jerk reaction is to say they are in the wrong, how can they not see things my way… More often than not it’s because they place a different value on it. What arguments or conflicts have you been in recently? If we can take a step back and try to see the situation from a higher vantage point we may find that the argument or the conflict was not so much about who was right and who was wrong, but more about valuing something differently. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there is a right and there is a wrong, but too often we confuse right and wrong with preferences and values. Next time you get into an argument, as hard as this might be, you might try seeing things from a different perspective, you might just find it’s not a right or wrong argument but where you are placing your values…
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Letting Go
Our kids will soon finish another school year. For my family, this ending is a little different. It is different because it brings on another first for our oldest. Our oldest will be at the Intermediate school next year. I was very impressed that the soon to be Intermediate School students were given a tour of what will be their new school. I was also very impressed that some of the 5th graders assisted in the tour. Now I am not usually one who dwells on these things, but this change makes me a little anxious.
Remembering back to when I was my son’s age, I changed a whole lot. My Mom began to give me more responsibility. Mom would send me to the store to pick up a few things that she needed. It became my responsibility to mow the yard, to make sure my pet was taken care of, etc. My Mom also gave me a little more freedom. I could go for a bike ride, which eventually took me all over town. I could meet my friends down at the park and play all afternoon.
Thinking about giving my oldest the same responsibilities and freedoms is what makes me a little anxious. Is he ready for those same responsibilities and freedoms? I don’t think he is, but then I have to ask myself if I am holding him back? Did my Mom have the same anxiousness that I am now experiencing? Did she question her own judgment the first time she let me ride my bike out of sight? Did she have to say yes through gritted teeth to things she really wanted to say no to, because she knew I needed the experience to grow up? Am I not affording him the same opportunity?
There are times in our lives we must choose to let go (at least a little). As a child, a parent, an employee, a boss, etc., we have to let go of those things we find comfort in, so that we are able to grow. I have to let go of my children so they can grow up. My children will have to let go of me so they can grow up. I have to let those who work with me go so they can grow in their competencies. And at the same time, I have to begin letting go of the safety net of those I work for to grow in my competence…
Do you find it hard to let go? Do you find it hard to let your children begin to make decisions on their own, to have increased responsibility, increased freedom? It may not be so much about them as it is about us. Maybe it is more about our own anxiousness over our changing role than it is about theirs… Change happens all the time. Do we struggle against it and not allow it take us where it needs to? Or do we embrace change and begin to determine where it will take us, and live in where it will lead us?
Remembering back to when I was my son’s age, I changed a whole lot. My Mom began to give me more responsibility. Mom would send me to the store to pick up a few things that she needed. It became my responsibility to mow the yard, to make sure my pet was taken care of, etc. My Mom also gave me a little more freedom. I could go for a bike ride, which eventually took me all over town. I could meet my friends down at the park and play all afternoon.
Thinking about giving my oldest the same responsibilities and freedoms is what makes me a little anxious. Is he ready for those same responsibilities and freedoms? I don’t think he is, but then I have to ask myself if I am holding him back? Did my Mom have the same anxiousness that I am now experiencing? Did she question her own judgment the first time she let me ride my bike out of sight? Did she have to say yes through gritted teeth to things she really wanted to say no to, because she knew I needed the experience to grow up? Am I not affording him the same opportunity?
There are times in our lives we must choose to let go (at least a little). As a child, a parent, an employee, a boss, etc., we have to let go of those things we find comfort in, so that we are able to grow. I have to let go of my children so they can grow up. My children will have to let go of me so they can grow up. I have to let those who work with me go so they can grow in their competencies. And at the same time, I have to begin letting go of the safety net of those I work for to grow in my competence…
Do you find it hard to let go? Do you find it hard to let your children begin to make decisions on their own, to have increased responsibility, increased freedom? It may not be so much about them as it is about us. Maybe it is more about our own anxiousness over our changing role than it is about theirs… Change happens all the time. Do we struggle against it and not allow it take us where it needs to? Or do we embrace change and begin to determine where it will take us, and live in where it will lead us?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Remembering My Baptism
Our Church recently celebrated with seven of our youth and children the sacrament (sacred moment) of Baptism. I have spent time with several of these over the past few months in a process of confirmation (a process of strengthening their faith).
As the day of their baptism grew closer, I began to think of my own confirmation and baptism. There were many in my community who impacted my life in positive ways. I had Sunday School teachers, Youth ministry leaders/volunteers, Boy Scout leaders, Teachers, Band Directors, etc. that had an impact on my life.
On the day of my baptism, three people really stand out. One was my pastor. He was appointed to our church for eight years. He impacted my life in many ways. He ministered to my family as my Mom and Dad both faced life with cancer. He also ministered to my family as we grieved their death but also celebrated their life. Another was a man who was transitioning into being the Youth Director for our church. He served in that position for a short time, but our lives crossed paths again when I moved to Lubbock to attend Texas Tech. He was the pastor of the church I attended in Lubbock, and he took me under his wing and was a guide that helped me discern what direction my life would take. The other was the man who was transitioning from being the Youth Director of our church. He spent several summers working with the Jr High and High School kids in the Church and community. He opened my eyes to possibilities that existed, if I just took the time to open my eyes to see them. At the time I could not really see how they were changing my life, but looking back, I can see how their influence has changed me.
These three men, and a host of others were on my mind as I remembered my own baptism, while helping to create a baptism memory for the seven that came before our church. I hope that what I do is making an impression on them. I hope that one day they will be able look back and see the influence myself and others had on their lives.
Who are the people that have influenced and impacted your life? A Coach? A Teacher? An Employer? A Neighbor? A Pastor? Who? Are you making the time in your life to influence and impact the life of someone else?
We can always hope someone else will take the time to make a difference. We can always hope someone else will step up to the challenge. But who misses out on being changed, being influenced or impacted when you and I don’t?
As the day of their baptism grew closer, I began to think of my own confirmation and baptism. There were many in my community who impacted my life in positive ways. I had Sunday School teachers, Youth ministry leaders/volunteers, Boy Scout leaders, Teachers, Band Directors, etc. that had an impact on my life.
On the day of my baptism, three people really stand out. One was my pastor. He was appointed to our church for eight years. He impacted my life in many ways. He ministered to my family as my Mom and Dad both faced life with cancer. He also ministered to my family as we grieved their death but also celebrated their life. Another was a man who was transitioning into being the Youth Director for our church. He served in that position for a short time, but our lives crossed paths again when I moved to Lubbock to attend Texas Tech. He was the pastor of the church I attended in Lubbock, and he took me under his wing and was a guide that helped me discern what direction my life would take. The other was the man who was transitioning from being the Youth Director of our church. He spent several summers working with the Jr High and High School kids in the Church and community. He opened my eyes to possibilities that existed, if I just took the time to open my eyes to see them. At the time I could not really see how they were changing my life, but looking back, I can see how their influence has changed me.
These three men, and a host of others were on my mind as I remembered my own baptism, while helping to create a baptism memory for the seven that came before our church. I hope that what I do is making an impression on them. I hope that one day they will be able look back and see the influence myself and others had on their lives.
Who are the people that have influenced and impacted your life? A Coach? A Teacher? An Employer? A Neighbor? A Pastor? Who? Are you making the time in your life to influence and impact the life of someone else?
We can always hope someone else will take the time to make a difference. We can always hope someone else will step up to the challenge. But who misses out on being changed, being influenced or impacted when you and I don’t?
Lunch Mistake
There are times I get so focused on what I am doing that I miss something more important. Recently I was volunteering at the school. I was there to volunteer my time and hopefully be a help to the teachers and staff at the school. One of the teachers approached me to tell me that one of my children was waiting for me to come eat with them.
I messed up. I was so focused on giving of my time to the school, I missed an opportunity my child was asking to have with me. In my head I was there to be a help to the school. That is what I was focused on. It didn’t occur to me that I could/should take a few minutes to spend with my child as they ate.
It is easy to be so focused, we miss important opportunities. Will my child bear an emotional scar because I did not take the time to eat with them? Probably not. But my child was asking for me. My child wanted my time and my attention. Because I was so focused on what I was doing, I missed an opportunity to be with my child.
How often do we miss moments because we are too focused? What is it that we miss out on because our focus becomes like a pair of blinders? Moments seem so inconsequential. Moments are so quick, so small they seem to not matter. Moments are what make a difference in lives. Moments are what change history. We live in a society that is so busy, so focused, that too often we miss having an impact, making a difference, giving time, love, attention, etc.
May you take moments to make a difference. May you be able to see the big picture and where you are needed most. May others be changed because you took a moment and changed a life!
I messed up. I was so focused on giving of my time to the school, I missed an opportunity my child was asking to have with me. In my head I was there to be a help to the school. That is what I was focused on. It didn’t occur to me that I could/should take a few minutes to spend with my child as they ate.
It is easy to be so focused, we miss important opportunities. Will my child bear an emotional scar because I did not take the time to eat with them? Probably not. But my child was asking for me. My child wanted my time and my attention. Because I was so focused on what I was doing, I missed an opportunity to be with my child.
How often do we miss moments because we are too focused? What is it that we miss out on because our focus becomes like a pair of blinders? Moments seem so inconsequential. Moments are so quick, so small they seem to not matter. Moments are what make a difference in lives. Moments are what change history. We live in a society that is so busy, so focused, that too often we miss having an impact, making a difference, giving time, love, attention, etc.
May you take moments to make a difference. May you be able to see the big picture and where you are needed most. May others be changed because you took a moment and changed a life!
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