Letting Go

Our kids will soon finish another school year. For my family, this ending is a little different. It is different because it brings on another first for our oldest. Our oldest will be at the Intermediate school next year. I was very impressed that the soon to be Intermediate School students were given a tour of what will be their new school. I was also very impressed that some of the 5th graders assisted in the tour. Now I am not usually one who dwells on these things, but this change makes me a little anxious.

Remembering back to when I was my son’s age, I changed a whole lot. My Mom began to give me more responsibility. Mom would send me to the store to pick up a few things that she needed. It became my responsibility to mow the yard, to make sure my pet was taken care of, etc. My Mom also gave me a little more freedom. I could go for a bike ride, which eventually took me all over town. I could meet my friends down at the park and play all afternoon.

Thinking about giving my oldest the same responsibilities and freedoms is what makes me a little anxious. Is he ready for those same responsibilities and freedoms? I don’t think he is, but then I have to ask myself if I am holding him back? Did my Mom have the same anxiousness that I am now experiencing? Did she question her own judgment the first time she let me ride my bike out of sight? Did she have to say yes through gritted teeth to things she really wanted to say no to, because she knew I needed the experience to grow up? Am I not affording him the same opportunity?

There are times in our lives we must choose to let go (at least a little). As a child, a parent, an employee, a boss, etc., we have to let go of those things we find comfort in, so that we are able to grow. I have to let go of my children so they can grow up. My children will have to let go of me so they can grow up. I have to let those who work with me go so they can grow in their competencies. And at the same time, I have to begin letting go of the safety net of those I work for to grow in my competence…

Do you find it hard to let go? Do you find it hard to let your children begin to make decisions on their own, to have increased responsibility, increased freedom? It may not be so much about them as it is about us. Maybe it is more about our own anxiousness over our changing role than it is about theirs… Change happens all the time. Do we struggle against it and not allow it take us where it needs to? Or do we embrace change and begin to determine where it will take us, and live in where it will lead us?