When I was 6 years old, we spent the evening of Christmas Eve with friends of my Mom’s. It was a different Christmas for us that year. It was the first year I remember Mom decorating for Christmas since she and my Dad separated and divorced. We had our “Christmas tree” decorated ready for presents to appear under the tree. Our Christmas tree that year was a tumbleweed we found coming back from the ranch one day. My brother and I thought it was neat because we had a tree like no one else. I am beginning to think that was our tree because that’s the best Mom could do that year.
That Christmas Eve my brother and I played with Mom’s friend’s son until dinner. We ate dinner and we played some more while the adults visited and watched a Christmas movie. For me, the mystery of Christmas had started to fade. I was not sure I bought into the whole story Mom and Dad were telling me about how our presents showed up on Christmas morning.
We left Mom’s friends house way past my brother’s and my bed time. When my Mom, my brother, and I returned to our apartment there under the tree were presents that were not there when we left. My little 6 year old mind was blown away. For a few days the mystery of Christmas returned.
When I got into High School, I asked my Mom about that Christmas, because I could not understand how it happened. My Mom told me that during the dinner preparations her friends had run out of something that we had at the house. She swore up and down she poked her head in where we were playing and told us she was running to the house and would be right back. I don’t remember that. While at home she took a little time to do a little more “decorating.”
It’s hard to forget that Christmas. I remember my brother and I received what we thought were a lot of presents, though I don’t really remember what they were. What I do remember is that there’s something about Christmas I didn’t understand.
Later on during one of my classes at Seminary I began to understand something I began to learn that Christmas many years before. My professor was lecturing on our understanding of our faith and said “Too often we try to dissect a mystery to understand it. Mysteries are not to be understood, mysteries are to be experienced.”
May this Christmas Season be a special celebration with your family, not because the gifts you give but because of the time you spend with family and friends. This Christmas Season may you and your family experience the mystery of Christmas.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Hope & Encouragement
Last weekend I was able to go “home” for a couple of days. As my wife and I drove around my hometown I remembered things I have not thought of in many, many years.
I remember growing up, there were numerous things I wanted to be when I grew up. For a time I wanted to be an architect and design beautiful buildings for others to be awe-struck by. For a moment or two I wanted to be an archeologist who would unearth important artifacts relating to humanities past. There was another time I wanted to be a lawyer, to defend those who had experienced nothing but injustice in their lives. Then I wanted to be a teacher and impact the lives of my students to go on to do great things with their lives.
Growing up my parents encouraged me to think about what it was I wanted to do with my life. At times they might have encouraged me a little more in one direction than another. Through the encouragement of my parents, through my interactions with teachers, Church Leaders, Boy Scout Leaders, the adults in my life let me know that I could dream about what my future might be like as I became interested in different career fields.
The more places I live, the more people I work with, the longer I serve in places where people are in need looking for assistance; I am learning this is not what many other people experienced growing up. Too many are told they will never be this or that, they could never complete… Too many are handicapped with the restrictions placed on them by friends and family.
The Advent and Christmas seasons are about hope, about being encouraged to do more than we think is possible… Who in your life needs to be given the gift of Hope? Who in your life needs to be encouraged to dare to dream a Big Dream of what could be? Maybe you need to dream again, to be encouraged during these holidays.
May the celebration of the seasons give you hope and encouragement. May your life be changed because of this hope, and may you impact the life of someone else during the holidays.
I remember growing up, there were numerous things I wanted to be when I grew up. For a time I wanted to be an architect and design beautiful buildings for others to be awe-struck by. For a moment or two I wanted to be an archeologist who would unearth important artifacts relating to humanities past. There was another time I wanted to be a lawyer, to defend those who had experienced nothing but injustice in their lives. Then I wanted to be a teacher and impact the lives of my students to go on to do great things with their lives.
Growing up my parents encouraged me to think about what it was I wanted to do with my life. At times they might have encouraged me a little more in one direction than another. Through the encouragement of my parents, through my interactions with teachers, Church Leaders, Boy Scout Leaders, the adults in my life let me know that I could dream about what my future might be like as I became interested in different career fields.
The more places I live, the more people I work with, the longer I serve in places where people are in need looking for assistance; I am learning this is not what many other people experienced growing up. Too many are told they will never be this or that, they could never complete… Too many are handicapped with the restrictions placed on them by friends and family.
The Advent and Christmas seasons are about hope, about being encouraged to do more than we think is possible… Who in your life needs to be given the gift of Hope? Who in your life needs to be encouraged to dare to dream a Big Dream of what could be? Maybe you need to dream again, to be encouraged during these holidays.
May the celebration of the seasons give you hope and encouragement. May your life be changed because of this hope, and may you impact the life of someone else during the holidays.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Family
This past weekend I had the honor and privilege of officiating my “little sister’s” wedding. Terra is not my biological sister, but she has become my sister over the last 16 years. Terra’s family invited me to become a part of their family not long after my mother past away. Missy & Bobbie (Mom & Dad), Keith, Sarah, and Terra have become family.
My in-laws took our children for the weekend so that my wife and I could be a part of this weekend. It was interesting driving around my home town and seeing the changes that have taken place over the past few years. Since my wife and I were childless for the weekend, we had opportunities to visit with family and friends that we had not had a chance to really visit with in awhile (because we are usually chasing 4 kids around).
To be honest I was a little nervous as I prepared to stand before family and friends (many of whom I had not seen in some time) as Terra and her fiancé, Tyler joined their lives together. Tyler not only committed to share the rest of his life with Terra, but also to Terra’s almost 7 year old little girl, Gracie. They included Gracie in the wedding ceremony and in the reception after. Tyler not only proclaimed his vows to Terra, but he also got down on his knees and offered vows to Gracie. Tyler and Terra exchanged rings and gave Gracie a charm bracelet with special charms that will remind her of them coming together as a family.
It was a privilege to watch Tyler’s and Terra’s faces as we rehearsed the ceremony and then as we preformed the ceremony. There were expressions of relief on their faces; this day is finally here, and all our planning and work and stress have finally come to fruition. There were expressions of joy and love as they professed before family and friends their commitment to each other. There were also expressions that are hard to put into words, but I think I have an idea of what some of the expressions were…
No matter how much premarital counseling Tyler and Terra had, no matter how much advice given to them before their big day, they will be facing things they never could have prepared themselves for. When you become family you don’t know what exactly that means for the future, you might have an idea of what it means here and now, but very little of the twists and turns that come because you have chosen to share your life with others…
Missy & Bobbie could not have expected everything that has happened over the past 16 years when they invited me to be a part of their family. My wife and I could never have expected everything that has happened over the past 10 years when we made a decision to become a family. Tyler and Terra cannot expect everything that will happen over the rest of their lives as they make decisions to be a family.
We may not know the good or the bad the future holds, but that is not what really matters. What really matters is that we have made a decision to share our lives with other people who become “family”. Sometimes that decision takes everything we have to stay committed to it. At other times it is the easiest thing we have ever done. Who have you chosen to share your life with? Who has become a part of your family, or “family”? Take some time during these seasons of Advent and Christmas to thank them for being a part of your life, for sharing their life with you, and for walking with you through the good and bad of this journey of life.
My in-laws took our children for the weekend so that my wife and I could be a part of this weekend. It was interesting driving around my home town and seeing the changes that have taken place over the past few years. Since my wife and I were childless for the weekend, we had opportunities to visit with family and friends that we had not had a chance to really visit with in awhile (because we are usually chasing 4 kids around).
To be honest I was a little nervous as I prepared to stand before family and friends (many of whom I had not seen in some time) as Terra and her fiancé, Tyler joined their lives together. Tyler not only committed to share the rest of his life with Terra, but also to Terra’s almost 7 year old little girl, Gracie. They included Gracie in the wedding ceremony and in the reception after. Tyler not only proclaimed his vows to Terra, but he also got down on his knees and offered vows to Gracie. Tyler and Terra exchanged rings and gave Gracie a charm bracelet with special charms that will remind her of them coming together as a family.
It was a privilege to watch Tyler’s and Terra’s faces as we rehearsed the ceremony and then as we preformed the ceremony. There were expressions of relief on their faces; this day is finally here, and all our planning and work and stress have finally come to fruition. There were expressions of joy and love as they professed before family and friends their commitment to each other. There were also expressions that are hard to put into words, but I think I have an idea of what some of the expressions were…
No matter how much premarital counseling Tyler and Terra had, no matter how much advice given to them before their big day, they will be facing things they never could have prepared themselves for. When you become family you don’t know what exactly that means for the future, you might have an idea of what it means here and now, but very little of the twists and turns that come because you have chosen to share your life with others…
Missy & Bobbie could not have expected everything that has happened over the past 16 years when they invited me to be a part of their family. My wife and I could never have expected everything that has happened over the past 10 years when we made a decision to become a family. Tyler and Terra cannot expect everything that will happen over the rest of their lives as they make decisions to be a family.
We may not know the good or the bad the future holds, but that is not what really matters. What really matters is that we have made a decision to share our lives with other people who become “family”. Sometimes that decision takes everything we have to stay committed to it. At other times it is the easiest thing we have ever done. Who have you chosen to share your life with? Who has become a part of your family, or “family”? Take some time during these seasons of Advent and Christmas to thank them for being a part of your life, for sharing their life with you, and for walking with you through the good and bad of this journey of life.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Advent
The Church Calendar tells us that for the next four weeks we are in the Season of Advent. Advent is a time of preparation and a time of waiting for Christ to come into our lives in new and fresh ways.
We do not like to wait, and we really do not like to prepare for things. We like to show up and stuff happen. We like for stuff to happen now. But, there are times we have to wait. There are times whatever it is we are waiting for has to happen sometime in the future. While we don’t like to prepare for things, more often than not, it is better for us to prepare ourselves than to just show up.
Sometimes in waiting and preparing it feels like “it” will never get here. But then we begin to see movement, or glimmers of hope. Finally things are beginning to happen. Things might not be the way we hope for them to be, but there is some excitement, there is some movement, possibly even some momentum is being built…
I think our community has experienced a sort of Advent of its own. I know that there have been some in our community waiting, maybe even preparing for things to “happen” here. They have waited and waited and waited. Some gave up hope and moved away thinking nothing will ever happen here. But there were those that remained hopeful, those that continued to wait…
There are changes taking place in our community. Some have been longing for these changes, others have been dreading them. There is talk of new homes being built, new businesses that might come to town, a health clinic. There is a new Elementary School; there is a new Fine Arts Center at the High School. Different churches and organizations have joined together in conversation to prepare to assist those that the CCRC assisted before it closed.
For some things are not changing fast enough, for others change is happening to quickly. However, if we as a community can condition ourselves to wait and prepare we may be surprised with the way we experience our community in new and fresh ways, much like those in the church wait and prepare and experience Christ in new and fresh ways during the holiday season.
We do not like to wait, and we really do not like to prepare for things. We like to show up and stuff happen. We like for stuff to happen now. But, there are times we have to wait. There are times whatever it is we are waiting for has to happen sometime in the future. While we don’t like to prepare for things, more often than not, it is better for us to prepare ourselves than to just show up.
Sometimes in waiting and preparing it feels like “it” will never get here. But then we begin to see movement, or glimmers of hope. Finally things are beginning to happen. Things might not be the way we hope for them to be, but there is some excitement, there is some movement, possibly even some momentum is being built…
I think our community has experienced a sort of Advent of its own. I know that there have been some in our community waiting, maybe even preparing for things to “happen” here. They have waited and waited and waited. Some gave up hope and moved away thinking nothing will ever happen here. But there were those that remained hopeful, those that continued to wait…
There are changes taking place in our community. Some have been longing for these changes, others have been dreading them. There is talk of new homes being built, new businesses that might come to town, a health clinic. There is a new Elementary School; there is a new Fine Arts Center at the High School. Different churches and organizations have joined together in conversation to prepare to assist those that the CCRC assisted before it closed.
For some things are not changing fast enough, for others change is happening to quickly. However, if we as a community can condition ourselves to wait and prepare we may be surprised with the way we experience our community in new and fresh ways, much like those in the church wait and prepare and experience Christ in new and fresh ways during the holiday season.
Thanksgiving
I started seeing ads for Black Friday this morning. But they were not really for this Friday, these discounts and holiday specials begin today, or some begin on Thursday to save me money on those hot gifts of the season.
When I lived in Kentucky with my wife, a store in a neighboring community would take down their Back to School decorations in September and put up their Christmas decorations. That bothered me a bit. What I felt they were telling me was that the weeks in September, the weeks leading up to Halloween/All Hallows Eve/All Saints day, the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, and the weeks of Advent really didn’t matter, let’s skip all that and go directly to Christmas.
Each year it seems like events and holidays during the fall are not ways to prepare for Christmas but speed bumps before Christmas. Let’s just skip all this other stuff and go directly to Christmas. This might not be so bad, but for most people they pack up Christmas just as its getting started. The Season of Christmas begins on Christmas day lasting 12 days (The Twelve Days of Christmas is more than just a song) and ending on January 5, the following day being the beginning of Epiphany.
These holidays are not just speed bumps but were put in place by those who have gone before us to help us all pause and to all focus on something that should be important. What if we forgot the Black Friday deals and focused on spending time with our families to share about what we have to be thankful for in our lives. Might that change the way we spend the rest of our Thanksgiving holiday? Might it change what we do in the weeks leading up to the Christmas season?
My hope for my family is that as family begins to arrive at our house on Wednesday and Thursday we can enjoy the time we have together. As we sit down together to share a meal, watch a movie, or a football game, that we can remember the numerous things we have to be thankful for. That is my hope for your family as well.
I am very thankful for this community. Because of your efforts 80+ families are being fed through food boxes this thanksgiving season. Because of your donations Backpacks for Kids received additional funds to continue giving hope to kids and families. Because 40+ people from our community gave up their own Christmas’s last year the Clyde First United Methodist Church was able to provide a warm place to wait out the ice on I-20, several meals were eaten with strangers, music was shared, and lives were touched as our community extended hospitality to those passing through.
Thank you Clyde for making a difference in the lives of those in our community and in the lives of those we may never see again.
When I lived in Kentucky with my wife, a store in a neighboring community would take down their Back to School decorations in September and put up their Christmas decorations. That bothered me a bit. What I felt they were telling me was that the weeks in September, the weeks leading up to Halloween/All Hallows Eve/All Saints day, the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, and the weeks of Advent really didn’t matter, let’s skip all that and go directly to Christmas.
Each year it seems like events and holidays during the fall are not ways to prepare for Christmas but speed bumps before Christmas. Let’s just skip all this other stuff and go directly to Christmas. This might not be so bad, but for most people they pack up Christmas just as its getting started. The Season of Christmas begins on Christmas day lasting 12 days (The Twelve Days of Christmas is more than just a song) and ending on January 5, the following day being the beginning of Epiphany.
These holidays are not just speed bumps but were put in place by those who have gone before us to help us all pause and to all focus on something that should be important. What if we forgot the Black Friday deals and focused on spending time with our families to share about what we have to be thankful for in our lives. Might that change the way we spend the rest of our Thanksgiving holiday? Might it change what we do in the weeks leading up to the Christmas season?
My hope for my family is that as family begins to arrive at our house on Wednesday and Thursday we can enjoy the time we have together. As we sit down together to share a meal, watch a movie, or a football game, that we can remember the numerous things we have to be thankful for. That is my hope for your family as well.
I am very thankful for this community. Because of your efforts 80+ families are being fed through food boxes this thanksgiving season. Because of your donations Backpacks for Kids received additional funds to continue giving hope to kids and families. Because 40+ people from our community gave up their own Christmas’s last year the Clyde First United Methodist Church was able to provide a warm place to wait out the ice on I-20, several meals were eaten with strangers, music was shared, and lives were touched as our community extended hospitality to those passing through.
Thank you Clyde for making a difference in the lives of those in our community and in the lives of those we may never see again.
Holiday Seasons
It seems that each year Christmas decorations go up earlier and earlier. It received an e-mail this morning (11-22-10) that Black Friday specials begin today. Watching the Today show this morning I caught several commercials stating that you can begin receiving huge discounts in store beginning Thanksgiving Day.
The world around us wants to rush to Christmas. The world can’t prepare early enough. The world can’t get there quick enough. Buy now pay later. Stand in line for exclusive early morning deals (it doesn’t matter that you weren’t planning on buying a new computer, or TV, etc… but at this price you’ve gotta pick one up). Rush to school Christmas parties, community Christmas parties, office Christmas parties.
So much to do and not enough time….
BUT WAIT….. That’s not what this season is about! This is a season of giving thanks for all that God has done in our lives. This season leads into a season of expectant waiting, and that season leads into the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
We give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us, and for providing so much and so frequently for us. As we give thanks, this should help us to see how much we have, and how much we can actually do without. Then we enter into a time of expectant waiting, and a time to prepare ourselves for the birth of Christ. This time of preparation gives meaning to the time of celebrating the birth of Christ.
If we do not give thanks, how can we really prepare? If we do not prepare, how can we really celebrate?
Too often this is a time we prepare for ourselves, forgetting what these seasons are really about. It’s not my birthday, it’s not your birthday, it’s Jesus’ birthday. We must stop acting like it’s ours and let it be Jesus’!
The early Christians gave gifts to show others they love them and that God loved them. My family really doesn’t need more gifts (of stuff), but I still have that urge to get something for those that I love. I believe what Jesus wants more for his birthday is for His followers to impact the lives of others. We are impacting families in our community as we make donations of time, money and food items through Common Ground Mission and Backpack for Kids. We are impacting families and individuals in our county, our area, our region, our state, our nation, and our world through our contributions to our shared ministries (monies each United Methodist Church pools together to do ministries we could not do on our own).
We have another opportunity to impact individuals, families, and a community this holiday season. People are dying from a lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. This Christmas Eve, we will be taking an offering to help drill a well for a community on the continent of Africa.
But this isn’t just about drilling a well. It’s about a community organizing; it’s about the formation of a water committee to ensure the longevity of the project and local ownership, and the training of a technician to maintain the water system and health and hygiene education. Drilling a well for a community is also about freeing women to help their families and communities in other ways. It is typically women who collect water, some spending 15 – 20 hours per week and walking up to 7 miles during the dry season. A local well gives these women time and energy for child care, education, or for providing an additional income for the family.
May this season of Thanksgiving, of Advent, and of Christmas be different and may we be different because we have chosen to seek gifts that honor Jesus; that impact lives, families and communities. Gifts that give hope, help, and show God’s love through our actions.
The world around us wants to rush to Christmas. The world can’t prepare early enough. The world can’t get there quick enough. Buy now pay later. Stand in line for exclusive early morning deals (it doesn’t matter that you weren’t planning on buying a new computer, or TV, etc… but at this price you’ve gotta pick one up). Rush to school Christmas parties, community Christmas parties, office Christmas parties.
So much to do and not enough time….
BUT WAIT….. That’s not what this season is about! This is a season of giving thanks for all that God has done in our lives. This season leads into a season of expectant waiting, and that season leads into the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
We give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us, and for providing so much and so frequently for us. As we give thanks, this should help us to see how much we have, and how much we can actually do without. Then we enter into a time of expectant waiting, and a time to prepare ourselves for the birth of Christ. This time of preparation gives meaning to the time of celebrating the birth of Christ.
If we do not give thanks, how can we really prepare? If we do not prepare, how can we really celebrate?
Too often this is a time we prepare for ourselves, forgetting what these seasons are really about. It’s not my birthday, it’s not your birthday, it’s Jesus’ birthday. We must stop acting like it’s ours and let it be Jesus’!
The early Christians gave gifts to show others they love them and that God loved them. My family really doesn’t need more gifts (of stuff), but I still have that urge to get something for those that I love. I believe what Jesus wants more for his birthday is for His followers to impact the lives of others. We are impacting families in our community as we make donations of time, money and food items through Common Ground Mission and Backpack for Kids. We are impacting families and individuals in our county, our area, our region, our state, our nation, and our world through our contributions to our shared ministries (monies each United Methodist Church pools together to do ministries we could not do on our own).
We have another opportunity to impact individuals, families, and a community this holiday season. People are dying from a lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. This Christmas Eve, we will be taking an offering to help drill a well for a community on the continent of Africa.
But this isn’t just about drilling a well. It’s about a community organizing; it’s about the formation of a water committee to ensure the longevity of the project and local ownership, and the training of a technician to maintain the water system and health and hygiene education. Drilling a well for a community is also about freeing women to help their families and communities in other ways. It is typically women who collect water, some spending 15 – 20 hours per week and walking up to 7 miles during the dry season. A local well gives these women time and energy for child care, education, or for providing an additional income for the family.
May this season of Thanksgiving, of Advent, and of Christmas be different and may we be different because we have chosen to seek gifts that honor Jesus; that impact lives, families and communities. Gifts that give hope, help, and show God’s love through our actions.
Holiday Seasons
It seems that each year Christmas decorations go up earlier and earlier. It received an e-mail this morning (11-22-10) that Black Friday specials begin today. Watching the Today show this morning I caught several commercials stating that you can begin receiving huge discounts in store beginning Thanksgiving Day.
The world around us wants to rush to Christmas. The world can’t prepare early enough. The world can’t get there quick enough. Buy now pay later. Stand in line for exclusive early morning deals (it doesn’t matter that you weren’t planning on buying a new computer, or TV, etc… but at this price you’ve gotta pick one up). Rush to school Christmas parties, community Christmas parties, office Christmas parties.
So much to do and not enough time….
BUT WAIT….. That’s not what this season is about! This is a season of giving thanks for all that God has done in our lives. This season leads into a season of expectant waiting, and that season leads into the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
We give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us, and for providing so much and so frequently for us. As we give thanks, this should help us to see how much we have, and how much we can actually do without. Then we enter into a time of expectant waiting, and a time to prepare ourselves for the birth of Christ. This time of preparation gives meaning to the time of celebrating the birth of Christ.
If we do not give thanks, how can we really prepare? If we do not prepare, how can we really celebrate?
Too often this is a time we prepare for ourselves, forgetting what these seasons are really about. It’s not my birthday, it’s not your birthday, it’s Jesus’ birthday. We must stop acting like it’s ours and let it be Jesus’!
The early Christians gave gifts to show others they love them and that God loved them. My family really doesn’t need more gifts (of stuff), but I still have that urge to get something for those that I love. I believe what Jesus wants more for his birthday is for His followers to impact the lives of others. We are impacting families in our community as we make donations of time, money and food items through Common Ground Mission and Backpack for Kids. We are impacting families and individuals in our county, our area, our region, our state, our nation, and our world through our contributions to our shared ministries (monies each United Methodist Church pools together to do ministries we could not do on our own).
We have another opportunity to impact individuals, families, and a community this holiday season. People are dying from a lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. This Christmas Eve, we will be taking an offering to help drill a well for a community on the continent of Africa.
But this isn’t just about drilling a well. It’s about a community organizing; it’s about the formation of a water committee to ensure the longevity of the project and local ownership, and the training of a technician to maintain the water system and health and hygiene education. Drilling a well for a community is also about freeing women to help their families and communities in other ways. It is typically women who collect water, some spending 15 – 20 hours per week and walking up to 7 miles during the dry season. A local well gives these women time and energy for child care, education, or for providing an additional income for the family.
May this season of Thanksgiving, of Advent, and of Christmas be different and may we be different because we have chosen to seek gifts that honor Jesus; that impact lives, families and communities. Gifts that give hope, help, and show God’s love through our actions.
The world around us wants to rush to Christmas. The world can’t prepare early enough. The world can’t get there quick enough. Buy now pay later. Stand in line for exclusive early morning deals (it doesn’t matter that you weren’t planning on buying a new computer, or TV, etc… but at this price you’ve gotta pick one up). Rush to school Christmas parties, community Christmas parties, office Christmas parties.
So much to do and not enough time….
BUT WAIT….. That’s not what this season is about! This is a season of giving thanks for all that God has done in our lives. This season leads into a season of expectant waiting, and that season leads into the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
We give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us, and for providing so much and so frequently for us. As we give thanks, this should help us to see how much we have, and how much we can actually do without. Then we enter into a time of expectant waiting, and a time to prepare ourselves for the birth of Christ. This time of preparation gives meaning to the time of celebrating the birth of Christ.
If we do not give thanks, how can we really prepare? If we do not prepare, how can we really celebrate?
Too often this is a time we prepare for ourselves, forgetting what these seasons are really about. It’s not my birthday, it’s not your birthday, it’s Jesus’ birthday. We must stop acting like it’s ours and let it be Jesus’!
The early Christians gave gifts to show others they love them and that God loved them. My family really doesn’t need more gifts (of stuff), but I still have that urge to get something for those that I love. I believe what Jesus wants more for his birthday is for His followers to impact the lives of others. We are impacting families in our community as we make donations of time, money and food items through Common Ground Mission and Backpack for Kids. We are impacting families and individuals in our county, our area, our region, our state, our nation, and our world through our contributions to our shared ministries (monies each United Methodist Church pools together to do ministries we could not do on our own).
We have another opportunity to impact individuals, families, and a community this holiday season. People are dying from a lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. This Christmas Eve, we will be taking an offering to help drill a well for a community on the continent of Africa.
But this isn’t just about drilling a well. It’s about a community organizing; it’s about the formation of a water committee to ensure the longevity of the project and local ownership, and the training of a technician to maintain the water system and health and hygiene education. Drilling a well for a community is also about freeing women to help their families and communities in other ways. It is typically women who collect water, some spending 15 – 20 hours per week and walking up to 7 miles during the dry season. A local well gives these women time and energy for child care, education, or for providing an additional income for the family.
May this season of Thanksgiving, of Advent, and of Christmas be different and may we be different because we have chosen to seek gifts that honor Jesus; that impact lives, families and communities. Gifts that give hope, help, and show God’s love through our actions.
It seems that each year Christmas decorations go up earlier and earlier. It received an e-mail this morning (11-22-10) that Black Friday specials begin today. Watching the Today show this morning I caught several commercials stating that you can begin receiving huge discounts in store beginning Thanksgiving Day.
The world around us wants to rush to Christmas. The world can’t prepare early enough. The world can’t get there quick enough. Buy now pay later. Stand in line for exclusive early morning deals (it doesn’t matter that you weren’t planning on buying a new computer, or TV, etc… but at this price you’ve gotta pick one up). Rush to school Christmas parties, community Christmas parties, office Christmas parties.
So much to do and not enough time….
BUT WAIT….. That’s not what this season is about! This is a season of giving thanks for all that God has done in our lives. This season leads into a season of expectant waiting, and that season leads into the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
We give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us, and for providing so much and so frequently for us. As we give thanks, this should help us to see how much we have, and how much we can actually do without. Then we enter into a time of expectant waiting, and a time to prepare ourselves for the birth of Christ. This time of preparation gives meaning to the time of celebrating the birth of Christ.
If we do not give thanks, how can we really prepare? If we do not prepare, how can we really celebrate?
Too often this is a time we prepare for ourselves, forgetting what these seasons are really about. It’s not my birthday, it’s not your birthday, it’s Jesus’ birthday. We must stop acting like it’s ours and let it be Jesus’!
The early Christians gave gifts to show others they love them and that God loved them. My family really doesn’t need more gifts (of stuff), but I still have that urge to get something for those that I love. I believe what Jesus wants more for his birthday is for His followers to impact the lives of others. We are impacting families in our community as we make donations of time, money and food items through Common Ground Mission and Backpack for Kids. We are impacting families and individuals in our county, our area, our region, our state, our nation, and our world through our contributions to our shared ministries (monies each United Methodist Church pools together to do ministries we could not do on our own).
We have another opportunity to impact individuals, families, and a community this holiday season. People are dying from a lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. This Christmas Eve, we will be taking an offering to help drill a well for a community on the continent of Africa.
But this isn’t just about drilling a well. It’s about a community organizing; it’s about the formation of a water committee to ensure the longevity of the project and local ownership, and the training of a technician to maintain the water system and health and hygiene education. Drilling a well for a community is also about freeing women to help their families and communities in other ways. It is typically women who collect water, some spending 15 – 20 hours per week and walking up to 7 miles during the dry season. A local well gives these women time and energy for child care, education, or for providing an additional income for the family.
May this season of Thanksgiving, of Advent, and of Christmas be different and may we be different because we have chosen to seek gifts that honor Jesus; that impact lives, families and communities. Gifts that give hope, help, and show God’s love through our actions.
The world around us wants to rush to Christmas. The world can’t prepare early enough. The world can’t get there quick enough. Buy now pay later. Stand in line for exclusive early morning deals (it doesn’t matter that you weren’t planning on buying a new computer, or TV, etc… but at this price you’ve gotta pick one up). Rush to school Christmas parties, community Christmas parties, office Christmas parties.
So much to do and not enough time….
BUT WAIT….. That’s not what this season is about! This is a season of giving thanks for all that God has done in our lives. This season leads into a season of expectant waiting, and that season leads into the celebration of the birth of Jesus.
We give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us, and for providing so much and so frequently for us. As we give thanks, this should help us to see how much we have, and how much we can actually do without. Then we enter into a time of expectant waiting, and a time to prepare ourselves for the birth of Christ. This time of preparation gives meaning to the time of celebrating the birth of Christ.
If we do not give thanks, how can we really prepare? If we do not prepare, how can we really celebrate?
Too often this is a time we prepare for ourselves, forgetting what these seasons are really about. It’s not my birthday, it’s not your birthday, it’s Jesus’ birthday. We must stop acting like it’s ours and let it be Jesus’!
The early Christians gave gifts to show others they love them and that God loved them. My family really doesn’t need more gifts (of stuff), but I still have that urge to get something for those that I love. I believe what Jesus wants more for his birthday is for His followers to impact the lives of others. We are impacting families in our community as we make donations of time, money and food items through Common Ground Mission and Backpack for Kids. We are impacting families and individuals in our county, our area, our region, our state, our nation, and our world through our contributions to our shared ministries (monies each United Methodist Church pools together to do ministries we could not do on our own).
We have another opportunity to impact individuals, families, and a community this holiday season. People are dying from a lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water borne illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. This Christmas Eve, we will be taking an offering to help drill a well for a community on the continent of Africa.
But this isn’t just about drilling a well. It’s about a community organizing; it’s about the formation of a water committee to ensure the longevity of the project and local ownership, and the training of a technician to maintain the water system and health and hygiene education. Drilling a well for a community is also about freeing women to help their families and communities in other ways. It is typically women who collect water, some spending 15 – 20 hours per week and walking up to 7 miles during the dry season. A local well gives these women time and energy for child care, education, or for providing an additional income for the family.
May this season of Thanksgiving, of Advent, and of Christmas be different and may we be different because we have chosen to seek gifts that honor Jesus; that impact lives, families and communities. Gifts that give hope, help, and show God’s love through our actions.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Boynton & Cronin
How quickly and easily we forget things. Our staff recently rearranged two offices in our building. We have been talking about making a few changes but the arrival of a new printer necessitated a much bigger change than we anticipated.
We were in the midst of moving furniture and equipment around when a staff member and I looked at each other and said to each other, “We had the office arranged like this before, but for some reason we changed it.” I think we both had this sinking feeling, and wondered if we were about to have to undo several hours of work. We discussed, and thought and tried to remember why we had made the change. During our discussion, we began to remember pieces of furniture that used to be in the offices and where they had been moved. We had become so accustomed to seeing those pieces of furniture in their new places that we had forgotten they had not always been there. We know there was a reason changed the configuration but could not remember why. So we took the chance that this time, we will like the arrangement and not have to move furniture and equipment (for awhile).
Recently I have started reading “bigger” books to our youngest child before he goes to bed. We had been “reading” picture books to our youngest before tucking him into bed. But now, I am reading books that I have come to enjoy probably more than the kids. I have come to enjoy reading to our children the writings of Sandra Boynton and Doreen Cronin. As I have pulled out books that have been on the shelf for awhile, I begin to remember reading these books to my other children. I also remember their faces as we got closer to a part in the book that they are eagerly awaiting. It might have been the part where we say together “Click Clack Moo, Click Clack Moo, Clickety Clack Moo” as we read Click Clack Moo Cows That Type, or they wait for me to tickle them as we said “Scrub, Scrub, Scrub” while reading The Going-To-Bed Book, or maybe it was the silly dance we did as we read Pajama Time or Barnyard Dance.
I enjoy reading to my youngest son, but wouldn’t want my older children to be back at this stage. I enjoy the sparkle in my youngest child’s eyes as we read, but I also enjoy the way my older children are able to now read a story to me.
Moments can take us back to remember things we may have forgotten. Sometimes we remember so we “don’t do that again,” other times we remember so we will. There are times we remember and have to think really hard as to why things changed or remember things have not always been like this. There are other times we remember exactly why things changed and are grateful they have.
The offices are just about put back together in their new arrangement, and we hope we won’t have to rearrange any time soon. For now we will “enjoy” trying to remember where this and that has been moved to.
We were in the midst of moving furniture and equipment around when a staff member and I looked at each other and said to each other, “We had the office arranged like this before, but for some reason we changed it.” I think we both had this sinking feeling, and wondered if we were about to have to undo several hours of work. We discussed, and thought and tried to remember why we had made the change. During our discussion, we began to remember pieces of furniture that used to be in the offices and where they had been moved. We had become so accustomed to seeing those pieces of furniture in their new places that we had forgotten they had not always been there. We know there was a reason changed the configuration but could not remember why. So we took the chance that this time, we will like the arrangement and not have to move furniture and equipment (for awhile).
Recently I have started reading “bigger” books to our youngest child before he goes to bed. We had been “reading” picture books to our youngest before tucking him into bed. But now, I am reading books that I have come to enjoy probably more than the kids. I have come to enjoy reading to our children the writings of Sandra Boynton and Doreen Cronin. As I have pulled out books that have been on the shelf for awhile, I begin to remember reading these books to my other children. I also remember their faces as we got closer to a part in the book that they are eagerly awaiting. It might have been the part where we say together “Click Clack Moo, Click Clack Moo, Clickety Clack Moo” as we read Click Clack Moo Cows That Type, or they wait for me to tickle them as we said “Scrub, Scrub, Scrub” while reading The Going-To-Bed Book, or maybe it was the silly dance we did as we read Pajama Time or Barnyard Dance.
I enjoy reading to my youngest son, but wouldn’t want my older children to be back at this stage. I enjoy the sparkle in my youngest child’s eyes as we read, but I also enjoy the way my older children are able to now read a story to me.
Moments can take us back to remember things we may have forgotten. Sometimes we remember so we “don’t do that again,” other times we remember so we will. There are times we remember and have to think really hard as to why things changed or remember things have not always been like this. There are other times we remember exactly why things changed and are grateful they have.
The offices are just about put back together in their new arrangement, and we hope we won’t have to rearrange any time soon. For now we will “enjoy” trying to remember where this and that has been moved to.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Good Guys...
My oldest son really got into Major League Baseball’s post season this year. He would ask almost every day if the Rangers were going to play that day. He got into showing his claw and antlers. He was almost giddy when they would make a good play, and he would be almost in tears when their opponents made a good play.
There were several times he would run around the room saying “We’re gonna beat those Yankees (or Giants)…” It took him a few moments to understand and realize that there were people out there that were not cheering for the Rangers; they preferred to cheer for the other team. We had to remind him of this a few times when he asked “why are those people cheering for the Giants (or Yankees)?” In his little world, the Rangers are the good guys and their opponents are the bad guys. He could not understand why anyone would want to cheer for the bad guys. Too often, we lump those people who root for different teams, or live in a certain part of our community, etc. as the “good guys” or “bad guys.”
Who the good guys or bad guys are is sometimes a matter of geography, sometimes a matter of perspective, sometimes a matter of time. On Friday nights the “bad guys” are the people sitting in the bleachers on the other side of the field. But on Saturday afternoons we may be sitting next to them cheering on our College team, or on Sunday cheering on our professional team.
Being a “good guy” or a “bad guy” does not depend on what team we root for, or where we do our shopping, or who we voted for. Being a “good guy” or a “bad guy” is determined by our actions. Do we help to make our community a better place, or do we help to keep it segmented? Are we selfish with our time or do we freely give it to those who need it? Do we seek to help those in need or do we assume someone else will offer help?
I may not like the New York Yankees, the New England Patriots, the Los Angeles Lakers, the UT Longhorns, the TAMU Aggies, etc. Yet there are those in my life and in our community that do. Instead of labeling these people as good or bad, can we label them as co-laborers as we work together to make our community something more than it is?
There were several times he would run around the room saying “We’re gonna beat those Yankees (or Giants)…” It took him a few moments to understand and realize that there were people out there that were not cheering for the Rangers; they preferred to cheer for the other team. We had to remind him of this a few times when he asked “why are those people cheering for the Giants (or Yankees)?” In his little world, the Rangers are the good guys and their opponents are the bad guys. He could not understand why anyone would want to cheer for the bad guys. Too often, we lump those people who root for different teams, or live in a certain part of our community, etc. as the “good guys” or “bad guys.”
Who the good guys or bad guys are is sometimes a matter of geography, sometimes a matter of perspective, sometimes a matter of time. On Friday nights the “bad guys” are the people sitting in the bleachers on the other side of the field. But on Saturday afternoons we may be sitting next to them cheering on our College team, or on Sunday cheering on our professional team.
Being a “good guy” or a “bad guy” does not depend on what team we root for, or where we do our shopping, or who we voted for. Being a “good guy” or a “bad guy” is determined by our actions. Do we help to make our community a better place, or do we help to keep it segmented? Are we selfish with our time or do we freely give it to those who need it? Do we seek to help those in need or do we assume someone else will offer help?
I may not like the New York Yankees, the New England Patriots, the Los Angeles Lakers, the UT Longhorns, the TAMU Aggies, etc. Yet there are those in my life and in our community that do. Instead of labeling these people as good or bad, can we label them as co-laborers as we work together to make our community something more than it is?
Friday, October 29, 2010
Baseball...
One of my earliest memories is of my Mom putting decorations around our television. I could not understand why I could not play with the little red bird she put in some flowers she had placed on top of our TV, or why I couldn’t play with the white and red ball she had up there.
Apparently my Mom and my Dad ended up rooting for opposing teams in the 1982 World Series. My Mom was trying to aggravate my Dad as much as she could, because she knew that the Cardinals were going to beat the Brewers. And they did… much to my Dad’s dismay.
My Mom was not much of a baseball fan, and to be honest, I am not much of a fan either. However, I have watched more baseball on TV this year than I have in my entire life and I’ve been to more games this year than I have in the last 12 years. I think this is mainly because my oldest son is taking an interest in the Texas Rangers. I had given up hope long ago of the Rangers making it to the post season, and if they happen to squeak in they would be going home after the first round.
There was something different about this year’s Rangers. They had their moments where I knew “Here we go again.” However, they always seemed to get wins when they needed them. Last Friday, my oldest son asked to stay up past his bedtime to watch the Rangers (I’m a sucker, I know) and I let him. The longer the game went on the more I believed they were actually going to win the game and advance to their first World Series. I went and woke up our third child so he could witness this moment in history. We watched together as the Rangers sent the Yankees home to begin their off-season.
The Rangers going to the World Series is not a future changing moment in history, but it may be a life-changing moment in the lives of many families. For my older sons and I, it is an opportunity to sit together and watch a game and talk. It is an opportunity for us to spend time together, and maybe one day when these boys have become men they will remember spending time with their Dad watching a game and treasuring a memory.
Apparently my Mom and my Dad ended up rooting for opposing teams in the 1982 World Series. My Mom was trying to aggravate my Dad as much as she could, because she knew that the Cardinals were going to beat the Brewers. And they did… much to my Dad’s dismay.
My Mom was not much of a baseball fan, and to be honest, I am not much of a fan either. However, I have watched more baseball on TV this year than I have in my entire life and I’ve been to more games this year than I have in the last 12 years. I think this is mainly because my oldest son is taking an interest in the Texas Rangers. I had given up hope long ago of the Rangers making it to the post season, and if they happen to squeak in they would be going home after the first round.
There was something different about this year’s Rangers. They had their moments where I knew “Here we go again.” However, they always seemed to get wins when they needed them. Last Friday, my oldest son asked to stay up past his bedtime to watch the Rangers (I’m a sucker, I know) and I let him. The longer the game went on the more I believed they were actually going to win the game and advance to their first World Series. I went and woke up our third child so he could witness this moment in history. We watched together as the Rangers sent the Yankees home to begin their off-season.
The Rangers going to the World Series is not a future changing moment in history, but it may be a life-changing moment in the lives of many families. For my older sons and I, it is an opportunity to sit together and watch a game and talk. It is an opportunity for us to spend time together, and maybe one day when these boys have become men they will remember spending time with their Dad watching a game and treasuring a memory.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Painting changes things...
My wife and I started repainting the interior of our home two weeks ago. We have taken a few hours each evening after the kids are in bed to work on our living room. It is going much slower than my wife would like but slowly but surely we are making progress.
Before we painted, the walls were a medium brown color (my wife would give it a specific name, but to me colors are light, medium, and dark). Standing in our living room you can see into the kitchen, into a hallway that goes to two of our kids’ rooms, and into our kids’ bathroom. Standing in the living room, the hallway and bathroom was a nice light brown (or tan-ish) color, our kitchen was a light green, and our front door was an off white color.
That is until we put the light brown color on the living room walls. The new color changed the look of the other colors. The kitchen stayed green but it seemed to have a little different hue to it. The front door that was an off white now has an orange-ish tone. The light brown hallway is now a yellowish color, and the bathroom is more of a cream color. The change we made in one area of the house made other parts look different.
It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. There have been countless times I have done something different, done something new, changed a bad habit, etc. and that caused me to look at other parts of my life differently. Those parts might never have been noticed, but they were because of changes I made. Once I notice the other parts that now are noticeable I have a decision to make, are these things I can live with or are they things I want/need to change.
Rarely do the changes we make not affect something else. Rarely do the changes I make only affect me. Rarely do the changes you make only affect you. Stopping bad habits, or making healthier choices (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually), or daring to try something you have wanted to do for some time now, etc. can be difficult because it is a change. These changes can point out other changes we need to make, or it points out to others changes they need to make.
If I had really realized how much work “just” painting the living room was going to be I might have argued a little harder with my wife to keep things the same, but I know that when all is said and done I will enjoy the changes that we have made. If we know how hard a “little” change is really going to be, we probably would never change, but some of the little changes we make end up being some of the best decisions of our lives.
Before we painted, the walls were a medium brown color (my wife would give it a specific name, but to me colors are light, medium, and dark). Standing in our living room you can see into the kitchen, into a hallway that goes to two of our kids’ rooms, and into our kids’ bathroom. Standing in the living room, the hallway and bathroom was a nice light brown (or tan-ish) color, our kitchen was a light green, and our front door was an off white color.
That is until we put the light brown color on the living room walls. The new color changed the look of the other colors. The kitchen stayed green but it seemed to have a little different hue to it. The front door that was an off white now has an orange-ish tone. The light brown hallway is now a yellowish color, and the bathroom is more of a cream color. The change we made in one area of the house made other parts look different.
It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. There have been countless times I have done something different, done something new, changed a bad habit, etc. and that caused me to look at other parts of my life differently. Those parts might never have been noticed, but they were because of changes I made. Once I notice the other parts that now are noticeable I have a decision to make, are these things I can live with or are they things I want/need to change.
Rarely do the changes we make not affect something else. Rarely do the changes I make only affect me. Rarely do the changes you make only affect you. Stopping bad habits, or making healthier choices (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually), or daring to try something you have wanted to do for some time now, etc. can be difficult because it is a change. These changes can point out other changes we need to make, or it points out to others changes they need to make.
If I had really realized how much work “just” painting the living room was going to be I might have argued a little harder with my wife to keep things the same, but I know that when all is said and done I will enjoy the changes that we have made. If we know how hard a “little” change is really going to be, we probably would never change, but some of the little changes we make end up being some of the best decisions of our lives.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Signs
There has been a lot of discussion lately with those that I work with about signs. If you have never been to our building before and were to pull into the parking lot, you might not be sure which door is the main entrance to the building. There are eleven doors you could enter our facility through, but very few would get you to where you want to go because there are no signs telling you where to start. If you do manage to make your way into the main entrance there are no signs to tell you which direction to proceed to get to your desired destination. Our facility has had several additions in its history. The additions provided much needed space for additional ministries or the expansion of ministries, but they have not always provided an easy way to get to where you want to go. So, we have been discussing how to make it easier for those who are unfamiliar with our building to find where they want to go.
Life can be a little like our building. There are not a lot of signs to tell you how to get to where you want to go. Additions to your life can make it a little more difficult to get to where you want to go as well. If we are not intentional about where we want to go, life has a way of moving on without us. When we are intentional about where we are going, we will begin to pay attention to how to get there. There may be times when it seems like we are actually moving away from our intended goal, but because we have studied our routes, because we know where we want to end up, we know that this path will get us there.
There are rarely flashing neon signs in life that tell us that this s the right direction. However, there may be people in our life who know how to help us get to our intended destination. Around our office we all know how to get around our facility, our desire is to make it clear for those not familiar with our facility. I hope that there are people in your life, grandparents, coworkers, teachers, friends, neighbors, and family who know how to navigate through life and are able to make it clear to you how to navigate to your intended destination.
Life can be a little like our building. There are not a lot of signs to tell you how to get to where you want to go. Additions to your life can make it a little more difficult to get to where you want to go as well. If we are not intentional about where we want to go, life has a way of moving on without us. When we are intentional about where we are going, we will begin to pay attention to how to get there. There may be times when it seems like we are actually moving away from our intended goal, but because we have studied our routes, because we know where we want to end up, we know that this path will get us there.
There are rarely flashing neon signs in life that tell us that this s the right direction. However, there may be people in our life who know how to help us get to our intended destination. Around our office we all know how to get around our facility, our desire is to make it clear for those not familiar with our facility. I hope that there are people in your life, grandparents, coworkers, teachers, friends, neighbors, and family who know how to navigate through life and are able to make it clear to you how to navigate to your intended destination.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Happily Ever After
“…and they lived happily ever after.” I don’t know how many times I have had to read that phrase to close a book. My daughter loves stories about princesses, and in our household she is THE Princess. She loves to hear about the obstacles the princess overcomes. She enjoys hearing about the handsome prince riding in and sweeping the princess off her feet, about riding into the distant horizon where they will live happily ever after.
That phrase, that ending to the book sounds so captivating, so enchanting. But it isn’t reality. We don’t hear about the struggles they deal with as they govern their fair kingdom. We don’t hear about the fights they have because their wonderful loving spouse doesn’t squeeze the toothpaste correctly, or doesn’t put the toilet paper on the roll the correct way. We don’t hear about how they deal with babies who wake up crying at 2:30 in the morning. We don’t hear about what they do when their finances get tight.
“Happily ever after” doesn’t tell the whole story. It doesn’t tell the story about life and truly living. Life can be difficult. When we truly live we are going to run into problems, some we cause and some are caused because others don’t want us to live. While fairy tales are fun to read (for some) and are enjoyed by others, they are not the whole story. We need to tell our children our stories and those of our parents and grandparents. The stories of how we dealt with our obstacles, of how we dealt with crying babies and more month at the end of our money. We need to give them a different hope, not about a prince or a genie or a fairy god mother sweeping in to save the day, but a hope about how to really live. We need to share a hope that there are opportunities out there, those opportunities might just look like obstacles at first. A hope that “happily ever after” is not about riding into the sunset to never be heard from again, but “happily ever after” might just look more like getting a colicky child back to sleep, or getting this month’s bills paid, or having a quiet moment with our spouse without a telephone ringing or children looking for our attention.
May you find life in truly living this week. May you find a way through your obstacles this week. May you begin to live a real “happily ever after” this week.
That phrase, that ending to the book sounds so captivating, so enchanting. But it isn’t reality. We don’t hear about the struggles they deal with as they govern their fair kingdom. We don’t hear about the fights they have because their wonderful loving spouse doesn’t squeeze the toothpaste correctly, or doesn’t put the toilet paper on the roll the correct way. We don’t hear about how they deal with babies who wake up crying at 2:30 in the morning. We don’t hear about what they do when their finances get tight.
“Happily ever after” doesn’t tell the whole story. It doesn’t tell the story about life and truly living. Life can be difficult. When we truly live we are going to run into problems, some we cause and some are caused because others don’t want us to live. While fairy tales are fun to read (for some) and are enjoyed by others, they are not the whole story. We need to tell our children our stories and those of our parents and grandparents. The stories of how we dealt with our obstacles, of how we dealt with crying babies and more month at the end of our money. We need to give them a different hope, not about a prince or a genie or a fairy god mother sweeping in to save the day, but a hope about how to really live. We need to share a hope that there are opportunities out there, those opportunities might just look like obstacles at first. A hope that “happily ever after” is not about riding into the sunset to never be heard from again, but “happily ever after” might just look more like getting a colicky child back to sleep, or getting this month’s bills paid, or having a quiet moment with our spouse without a telephone ringing or children looking for our attention.
May you find life in truly living this week. May you find a way through your obstacles this week. May you begin to live a real “happily ever after” this week.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Just out of sight...
I feel that I was very fortunate growing up. My Mom and Dad provided a pretty good life for my brother and me. I don’t think it was the life they anticipated as they began to date, as they courted, and began their marriage. But then again no one can anticipate what the future truly holds. My parents separated and divorced before I learned how to tie my shoes in First Grade. During their courting and falling in love with each other, I bet it never occurred to them that it could all end with such pain, with such heart ache, with such hate. I am sure there are things my parents wish they had known about each other before they said “I do” in front of friends and family. I am also sure there were pleasant surprises along the way that they never would have known about each other until they made a commitment to each other and chose to live their lives together.
I have been told often that Hindsight is 20/20. If we only knew what was just ahead of us, just out of sight, would we run bravely into the future or would we tread carefully, slowly into that future? My family has a ranch just outside of my hometown. There is a creek that runs through a portion of our land. Well, to say it runs is a bit of an overstatement. We have a creek bed running through a portion of our land. From up above, along the canyon wall (I’m not really sure you could call it a canyon) it looks like an old dried up creek bed, but every once in a while you might spot a wet spot in the shade or a pool of “standing” water in a bend. If you move the short distance from the top of the canyon into the creek bed you might find something a little different, especially if you look back on where you have been. As you walk through the creek bed you leave footprints. After a few minutes those footprints fill with the water that lies just under the surface of the creek bed. The water is there, it’s just out of sight. The water provides for the health and growth of the area. It’s just not easily seen.
At my Aunt and Uncle’s house they had an open sewer area out behind their house. The area was hard to see and the “water” was just out of sight. Trust me one of the last things you wanted to do was to look back and realize what you had just stepped through.
There is stuff in our lives and in the lives of other people that is there, it’s just out of sight. It would be very helpful if we knew it was there, but they are no warning signs. There may be great things we just can’t quite see until we look back, or they may be things we want to be a little more cautious with, or things that would be a deal breaker and we need to run from, but they are just out of sight until we look back.
My wish would be that no one would have to go through the pains of love gone wrong. But that’s not real life. Real life is hard and so much of what goes on we don’t really see until we look back. But we can’t stay looking back or we will never make any progress. We have to step forward into the unknown. Sometimes good things will pop up, at other times not so good things will come out. We will never know if we don’t live.
I have been told often that Hindsight is 20/20. If we only knew what was just ahead of us, just out of sight, would we run bravely into the future or would we tread carefully, slowly into that future? My family has a ranch just outside of my hometown. There is a creek that runs through a portion of our land. Well, to say it runs is a bit of an overstatement. We have a creek bed running through a portion of our land. From up above, along the canyon wall (I’m not really sure you could call it a canyon) it looks like an old dried up creek bed, but every once in a while you might spot a wet spot in the shade or a pool of “standing” water in a bend. If you move the short distance from the top of the canyon into the creek bed you might find something a little different, especially if you look back on where you have been. As you walk through the creek bed you leave footprints. After a few minutes those footprints fill with the water that lies just under the surface of the creek bed. The water is there, it’s just out of sight. The water provides for the health and growth of the area. It’s just not easily seen.
At my Aunt and Uncle’s house they had an open sewer area out behind their house. The area was hard to see and the “water” was just out of sight. Trust me one of the last things you wanted to do was to look back and realize what you had just stepped through.
There is stuff in our lives and in the lives of other people that is there, it’s just out of sight. It would be very helpful if we knew it was there, but they are no warning signs. There may be great things we just can’t quite see until we look back, or they may be things we want to be a little more cautious with, or things that would be a deal breaker and we need to run from, but they are just out of sight until we look back.
My wish would be that no one would have to go through the pains of love gone wrong. But that’s not real life. Real life is hard and so much of what goes on we don’t really see until we look back. But we can’t stay looking back or we will never make any progress. We have to step forward into the unknown. Sometimes good things will pop up, at other times not so good things will come out. We will never know if we don’t live.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Football in the Fall
Growing up, my brother and I spent every other weekend with our Dad. In the fall, Saturdays were for two things: a trip to Amarillo and college football. Sunday’s were for two things, also: Church and professional football. Now my dad was a little different, you have to forgive him. He wasn’t born in these parts. My dad was born in Kentucky, lived in Indiana, and finally arrived in Texas. Saturdays we would watch the Southwest Conference teams battle it out for the Championship, IF and only if, the teams from the Big 10, or possibly the SEC, were not playing.
Being born in Kentucky, my dad took a liking to the Wildcats of the University of Kentucky (having lived in Kentucky for four years, I can tell you from personal experience, you can’t help but get caught up in the madness). Living in Indiana for a few years, my dad took a liking to the Chicago Bears and the Big 10. I never understood his fascination with “da” Bears, I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t root for my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins. I learned a lot on those Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and not a whole lot about football. It was a time Dad would talk and I would listen, soaking up all I could during the time we had together. I can remember in the early 90’s my dad expressing his displeasure with the University of Arkansas and their intentions of leaving the SWC and joining the SEC. He hoped that they would go winless that year (although I remember him using a little more colorful language) for upsetting the balance of power in the college athletics world. That afternoon, I learned about my father’s understanding of loyalty, about his views on college politics (being a college science professor for 27 years he had a lot of views on college politics), and many other topics that we had discussed and would continue to discuss.
My dad couldn’t teach me about all the x’s and o’s of football. He couldn’t go out in the backyard and teach me many of the fundamentals of football. My Dad’s feet were injured during boot camp long before I was born and he couldn’t do many of the things I believe he would have liked to have done when my brother and I were still young and impressionable. But those game times were important in my life, it was time with Dad. It was time he imparted to me things he felt were important and things he felt I needed to know, and learning how to express my own views and opinions.
There have been several days when I have found myself at Nelson Park playing Softball with a group of guys or at the Abilene Soccer Fields with my sons and other parents and children. I will be the first to confess that I don’t know a lot about softball or about soccer. But like the time with my dad, it’s not really about the game. It is about the time spent with others, learning more about them and their beliefs and views, and expressing my own. These are people who I did not know before I started playing softball or helping coach soccer, but now I appreciate them sharing their life with me, even if it is for just a few hours a week on a ball field.
I am looking forward to taking my boys to Bulldog stadium to watch some games, or to Jones AT&T stadium to watch our Texas Tech Red Raiders(who knows where else we may find ourselves), not so much to grow within them a love for football but to have that time with them. Maybe we will talk about the x’s and o’s of football, but maybe we talk about our faith, our views on politics, learn something more about each other.
Who do you share your life with? Who are you able to share your beliefs, your views, your opinions with? If you don’t have a person, a group to do that with, maybe it’s time to take up a hobby or spend some time with others learning to do something new. After all, it’s not really about your new hobby or activity, it’s about adding life and meaning to the existence we have during our time here on earth.
Being born in Kentucky, my dad took a liking to the Wildcats of the University of Kentucky (having lived in Kentucky for four years, I can tell you from personal experience, you can’t help but get caught up in the madness). Living in Indiana for a few years, my dad took a liking to the Chicago Bears and the Big 10. I never understood his fascination with “da” Bears, I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t root for my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins. I learned a lot on those Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and not a whole lot about football. It was a time Dad would talk and I would listen, soaking up all I could during the time we had together. I can remember in the early 90’s my dad expressing his displeasure with the University of Arkansas and their intentions of leaving the SWC and joining the SEC. He hoped that they would go winless that year (although I remember him using a little more colorful language) for upsetting the balance of power in the college athletics world. That afternoon, I learned about my father’s understanding of loyalty, about his views on college politics (being a college science professor for 27 years he had a lot of views on college politics), and many other topics that we had discussed and would continue to discuss.
My dad couldn’t teach me about all the x’s and o’s of football. He couldn’t go out in the backyard and teach me many of the fundamentals of football. My Dad’s feet were injured during boot camp long before I was born and he couldn’t do many of the things I believe he would have liked to have done when my brother and I were still young and impressionable. But those game times were important in my life, it was time with Dad. It was time he imparted to me things he felt were important and things he felt I needed to know, and learning how to express my own views and opinions.
There have been several days when I have found myself at Nelson Park playing Softball with a group of guys or at the Abilene Soccer Fields with my sons and other parents and children. I will be the first to confess that I don’t know a lot about softball or about soccer. But like the time with my dad, it’s not really about the game. It is about the time spent with others, learning more about them and their beliefs and views, and expressing my own. These are people who I did not know before I started playing softball or helping coach soccer, but now I appreciate them sharing their life with me, even if it is for just a few hours a week on a ball field.
I am looking forward to taking my boys to Bulldog stadium to watch some games, or to Jones AT&T stadium to watch our Texas Tech Red Raiders(who knows where else we may find ourselves), not so much to grow within them a love for football but to have that time with them. Maybe we will talk about the x’s and o’s of football, but maybe we talk about our faith, our views on politics, learn something more about each other.
Who do you share your life with? Who are you able to share your beliefs, your views, your opinions with? If you don’t have a person, a group to do that with, maybe it’s time to take up a hobby or spend some time with others learning to do something new. After all, it’s not really about your new hobby or activity, it’s about adding life and meaning to the existence we have during our time here on earth.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Life was so much easier...
This past weekend my wife’s parents took our 4 year old for the long weekend. My wife’s sister took our 7 year old and our 5 year old for the long weekend. That left only our 21 month old at home for the weekend. Our normal everyday activities suddenly seemed much easier.
It was not that long ago that I was overwhelmed with the addition of our first child. Things that should have been easy, took on a more difficult nature. Trying to clean the house, or prepare a meal, or study for class was not as easy as it once was because now this little person demanded some of the time I was attempting to focus elsewhere. I can remember thinking, “How do other people do this?” I had a difficult time balancing life with a child, and school, and work, and responsibilities as a husband, and … Eventually I must have gotten the hang of it. But I had the same feelings when child #2 came, and with child #3, and child #4…
My wife and I laughed this past weekend remembering when we thought life with one child was overwhelming. Looking back, we did not realize how easy life really was. At the time, we were not used to another person demanding so much of our time and energy. That was our reality, for a time. Somewhere along this journey we learned how to balance things a little better, to where we were not as overwhelmed. It took us learning from our first child to prepare us for our second. It took us learning from our first and second child to prepare us for our third…
In school some of us had to struggle through addition and subtraction so that we could overcome the problems we faced in Algebra, and geometry. Some of us had to struggle with rules of grammar and spelling to be able to overcome the problem of research papers and thesis’ papers.
Life can get overwhelming. Tasks that should not be difficult, are, because of circumstances we find ourselves in or the choices we have made. When we experience times of difficulty, or find ourselves overwhelmed with the goings on of life, these just might be times that are preparing us for the next chapter of our life!
The stuff we deal with now might feel more like a struggle than an opportunity, but dealing with it just might prepare us for the next opportunity that comes along.
Our difficulties and problems today may really be opportunities for tomorrow. At least that’s what I keep telling myself as we now try to adjust to three kids in school, two kids in soccer, one child in ballet and dance classes, along with school activities, church activities, etc. I wait for the day when we can look back on today and see the bigger picture and notice all the blessings we didn’t notice in the midst of our difficulties.
It was not that long ago that I was overwhelmed with the addition of our first child. Things that should have been easy, took on a more difficult nature. Trying to clean the house, or prepare a meal, or study for class was not as easy as it once was because now this little person demanded some of the time I was attempting to focus elsewhere. I can remember thinking, “How do other people do this?” I had a difficult time balancing life with a child, and school, and work, and responsibilities as a husband, and … Eventually I must have gotten the hang of it. But I had the same feelings when child #2 came, and with child #3, and child #4…
My wife and I laughed this past weekend remembering when we thought life with one child was overwhelming. Looking back, we did not realize how easy life really was. At the time, we were not used to another person demanding so much of our time and energy. That was our reality, for a time. Somewhere along this journey we learned how to balance things a little better, to where we were not as overwhelmed. It took us learning from our first child to prepare us for our second. It took us learning from our first and second child to prepare us for our third…
In school some of us had to struggle through addition and subtraction so that we could overcome the problems we faced in Algebra, and geometry. Some of us had to struggle with rules of grammar and spelling to be able to overcome the problem of research papers and thesis’ papers.
Life can get overwhelming. Tasks that should not be difficult, are, because of circumstances we find ourselves in or the choices we have made. When we experience times of difficulty, or find ourselves overwhelmed with the goings on of life, these just might be times that are preparing us for the next chapter of our life!
The stuff we deal with now might feel more like a struggle than an opportunity, but dealing with it just might prepare us for the next opportunity that comes along.
Our difficulties and problems today may really be opportunities for tomorrow. At least that’s what I keep telling myself as we now try to adjust to three kids in school, two kids in soccer, one child in ballet and dance classes, along with school activities, church activities, etc. I wait for the day when we can look back on today and see the bigger picture and notice all the blessings we didn’t notice in the midst of our difficulties.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Big Pictures & Details
I have always enjoyed the first day of school. I enjoyed the newness. New teachers, new spirals, new pens or pencils, a new start…
I will admit there were parts of the first day of school I was not so excited about, especially in college and seminary. I dread seeing the Syllabus (the big picture), the pieces of paper that would direct my life (as far as that class went) for the next few months. The long list of reading assignments, projects, and papers (the details that make the big picture a reality) seemed so overwhelming on the first day of class. But as the semester went on, the list became shorter and shorter. Chapters were read, projects were completed, papers were turned in, tests were taken… At the end of the semester or the end of the year I could look back and see all I had accomplished. I could look back and see how far I had come and how much I had learned. I could look back and see that what at first seemed impossible and overwhelming had been achieved and completed.
If I had stayed focused on the big picture I would not have been able to accomplish many of the details that would make the big picture a reality. Focusing only on the big picture can be overwhelming if you do not know how to get there. On the other hand, if I stayed focused on the details I would have eventually been discouraged by not seeing where these tasks were leading me. Focusing on the tasks can be overwhelming, with all that has to be done, so much so that we can forget the big picture and forget why we are doing what we are doing.
There is a balance between the two. Luckily, or unfortunately, everyone’s balance is a little different. There are some people who are big picture people. They can see the possibilities; they can see what they want the end product to be, yet too often we have a hard time getting there because they do not want to be bothered with the details. There are other people who are detail people. They can see the processes that can get us “there”, they know what needs to happen and the pitfalls that might spring up between now and making the big picture a reality, yet too often they have a hard time looking up from the details to remember why they are doing these tasks.
Do you have dreams, but rarely see them become a reality? Do you get a lot of stuff done, but rarely know why you do all that you do? We live our lives so fast we forget to take a look around us. If we never see our dreams become a reality, it may be because we never slow down to see what we need to do to get there, or share our dream with other people so they can help us know how to get there or join us on the journey and we get there together. If we rarely know why we do what we do, it may be because we never slow down to see where we are going, or we have not embraced any big picture and so are not going anywhere.
Maybe your big picture, your dreams, need to be shared so they become our dreams and we accomplish them together. Maybe you need to grasp someone else’s dream and show them how to get there. Who knows, maybe that is why we start out our education in classes of our peers, so that we can learn to work together and accomplish more than we ever thought we could on our own…
I will admit there were parts of the first day of school I was not so excited about, especially in college and seminary. I dread seeing the Syllabus (the big picture), the pieces of paper that would direct my life (as far as that class went) for the next few months. The long list of reading assignments, projects, and papers (the details that make the big picture a reality) seemed so overwhelming on the first day of class. But as the semester went on, the list became shorter and shorter. Chapters were read, projects were completed, papers were turned in, tests were taken… At the end of the semester or the end of the year I could look back and see all I had accomplished. I could look back and see how far I had come and how much I had learned. I could look back and see that what at first seemed impossible and overwhelming had been achieved and completed.
If I had stayed focused on the big picture I would not have been able to accomplish many of the details that would make the big picture a reality. Focusing only on the big picture can be overwhelming if you do not know how to get there. On the other hand, if I stayed focused on the details I would have eventually been discouraged by not seeing where these tasks were leading me. Focusing on the tasks can be overwhelming, with all that has to be done, so much so that we can forget the big picture and forget why we are doing what we are doing.
There is a balance between the two. Luckily, or unfortunately, everyone’s balance is a little different. There are some people who are big picture people. They can see the possibilities; they can see what they want the end product to be, yet too often we have a hard time getting there because they do not want to be bothered with the details. There are other people who are detail people. They can see the processes that can get us “there”, they know what needs to happen and the pitfalls that might spring up between now and making the big picture a reality, yet too often they have a hard time looking up from the details to remember why they are doing these tasks.
Do you have dreams, but rarely see them become a reality? Do you get a lot of stuff done, but rarely know why you do all that you do? We live our lives so fast we forget to take a look around us. If we never see our dreams become a reality, it may be because we never slow down to see what we need to do to get there, or share our dream with other people so they can help us know how to get there or join us on the journey and we get there together. If we rarely know why we do what we do, it may be because we never slow down to see where we are going, or we have not embraced any big picture and so are not going anywhere.
Maybe your big picture, your dreams, need to be shared so they become our dreams and we accomplish them together. Maybe you need to grasp someone else’s dream and show them how to get there. Who knows, maybe that is why we start out our education in classes of our peers, so that we can learn to work together and accomplish more than we ever thought we could on our own…
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Celebration
A few weeks ago when I returned from one of my longer trips away from home my kids wanted to surprise me with a party. They spent time making signs (with a little help from my wife) welcoming me home. I was glad to be home, and it was nice to see how excited they were to watch me take in all that they had done for my return.
My wife recently spent a few days away from us with some of the friends she made while in college. My wife had barely walked out the door when the kids started asking if we could have a surprise for her when she returned home. They kids wanted to decorate our daughters room like a cave (we have recently gone to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and I think that was still on their minds) with bats and a few leopards. I tried to focus their energy and enthusiasm into something that might make Mom feel more special when she got home. Unfortunately she returned before we had a chance to finish our plans.
This last weekend our Church had a get together to show the staff how much we appreciate all they do as we minister together in our church and to our community. I was a little worried about a small turn out for our get together. I was amazed at the number of people that showed up and the amount of cards of appreciation and food that was brought to celebrate and honor our staff.
We like to be honored. We like for others to tell us and show us that we have done a good job or that we have been missed. I think that we need to be celebrated from time to time.
But I am beginning to think just as much as we need to be celebrated, we need to celebrate others. For our kids it was not just that mom and dad were coming home, but there was a buildup of excitement as they waited for our return. I think those that attended our staff appreciation get together were just as excited as the staff to be there and to enjoy the homemade ice cream and other goodies that were brought.
When is the last time you took the time to show someone else how you feel about them. When is the last time you made a phone call, sent a text message or an e-mail, or wrote a note to someone just to tell them you hope they are having a great day? When we take the time to show others how much they mean to us, we begin to see how truly blessed we are.
Take some time today and celebrate someone. Can you allow the excitement to build as you peek out your window waiting for your neighbor to find the card or baked goodies you left for them… Can you allow the excitement to build as you wait for a phone call or an e-mail letting you know you didn’t have to do that, but it means so much… Can you allow the excitement to build around you as you see how truly blessed you are by your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your co-workers?
My wife recently spent a few days away from us with some of the friends she made while in college. My wife had barely walked out the door when the kids started asking if we could have a surprise for her when she returned home. They kids wanted to decorate our daughters room like a cave (we have recently gone to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and I think that was still on their minds) with bats and a few leopards. I tried to focus their energy and enthusiasm into something that might make Mom feel more special when she got home. Unfortunately she returned before we had a chance to finish our plans.
This last weekend our Church had a get together to show the staff how much we appreciate all they do as we minister together in our church and to our community. I was a little worried about a small turn out for our get together. I was amazed at the number of people that showed up and the amount of cards of appreciation and food that was brought to celebrate and honor our staff.
We like to be honored. We like for others to tell us and show us that we have done a good job or that we have been missed. I think that we need to be celebrated from time to time.
But I am beginning to think just as much as we need to be celebrated, we need to celebrate others. For our kids it was not just that mom and dad were coming home, but there was a buildup of excitement as they waited for our return. I think those that attended our staff appreciation get together were just as excited as the staff to be there and to enjoy the homemade ice cream and other goodies that were brought.
When is the last time you took the time to show someone else how you feel about them. When is the last time you made a phone call, sent a text message or an e-mail, or wrote a note to someone just to tell them you hope they are having a great day? When we take the time to show others how much they mean to us, we begin to see how truly blessed we are.
Take some time today and celebrate someone. Can you allow the excitement to build as you peek out your window waiting for your neighbor to find the card or baked goodies you left for them… Can you allow the excitement to build as you wait for a phone call or an e-mail letting you know you didn’t have to do that, but it means so much… Can you allow the excitement to build around you as you see how truly blessed you are by your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your co-workers?
Celebration
A few weeks ago when I returned from one of my longer trips away from home my kids wanted to surprise me with a party. They spent time making signs (with a little help from my wife) welcoming me home. I was glad to be home, and it was nice to see how excited they were to watch me take in all that they had done for my return.
My wife recently spent a few days away from us with some of the friends she made while in college. My wife had barely walked out the door when the kids started asking if we could have a surprise for her when she returned home. They kids wanted to decorate our daughters room like a cave (we have recently gone to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and I think that was still on their minds) with bats and a few leopards. I tried to focus their energy and enthusiasm into something that might make Mom feel more special when she got home. Unfortunately she returned before we had a chance to finish our plans.
This last weekend our Church had a get together to show the staff how much we appreciate all they do as we minister together in our church and to our community. I was a little worried about a small turn out for our get together. I was amazed at the number of people that showed up and the amount of cards of appreciation and food that was brought to celebrate and honor our staff.
We like to be honored. We like for others to tell us and show us that we have done a good job or that we have been missed. I think that we need to be celebrated from time to time.
But I am beginning to think just as much as we need to be celebrated, we need to celebrate others. For our kids it was not just that mom and dad were coming home, but there was a buildup of excitement as they waited for our return. I think those that attended our staff appreciation get together were just as excited as the staff to be there and to enjoy the homemade ice cream and other goodies that were brought.
When is the last time you took the time to show someone else how you feel about them. When is the last time you made a phone call, sent a text message or an e-mail, or wrote a note to someone just to tell them you hope they are having a great day? When we take the time to show others how much they mean to us, we begin to see how truly blessed we are.
Take some time today and celebrate someone. Can you allow the excitement to build as you peek out your window waiting for your neighbor to find the card or baked goodies you left for them… Can you allow the excitement to build as you wait for a phone call or an e-mail letting you know you didn’t have to do that, but it means so much… Can you allow the excitement to build around you as you see how truly blessed you are by your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your co-workers?
My wife recently spent a few days away from us with some of the friends she made while in college. My wife had barely walked out the door when the kids started asking if we could have a surprise for her when she returned home. They kids wanted to decorate our daughters room like a cave (we have recently gone to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and I think that was still on their minds) with bats and a few leopards. I tried to focus their energy and enthusiasm into something that might make Mom feel more special when she got home. Unfortunately she returned before we had a chance to finish our plans.
This last weekend our Church had a get together to show the staff how much we appreciate all they do as we minister together in our church and to our community. I was a little worried about a small turn out for our get together. I was amazed at the number of people that showed up and the amount of cards of appreciation and food that was brought to celebrate and honor our staff.
We like to be honored. We like for others to tell us and show us that we have done a good job or that we have been missed. I think that we need to be celebrated from time to time.
But I am beginning to think just as much as we need to be celebrated, we need to celebrate others. For our kids it was not just that mom and dad were coming home, but there was a buildup of excitement as they waited for our return. I think those that attended our staff appreciation get together were just as excited as the staff to be there and to enjoy the homemade ice cream and other goodies that were brought.
When is the last time you took the time to show someone else how you feel about them. When is the last time you made a phone call, sent a text message or an e-mail, or wrote a note to someone just to tell them you hope they are having a great day? When we take the time to show others how much they mean to us, we begin to see how truly blessed we are.
Take some time today and celebrate someone. Can you allow the excitement to build as you peek out your window waiting for your neighbor to find the card or baked goodies you left for them… Can you allow the excitement to build as you wait for a phone call or an e-mail letting you know you didn’t have to do that, but it means so much… Can you allow the excitement to build around you as you see how truly blessed you are by your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your co-workers?
Celebration
A few weeks ago when I returned from one of my longer trips away from home my kids wanted to surprise me with a party when I returned home. They spent time making signs (with a little help from my wife) welcoming me home. I was glad to be home, and It was nice to see how excited they were to watch me take in all that they had done for my return.
My wife recently spent a few days away from us with some of the friends she made while in college. My wife had barely walked out the door when the kids started asking if we could have a surprise for her when she returned home. They kids wanted to decorate our daughters room like a cave (we have recently gone to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and I think that was still on their minds) with bats and a few leopards. I tried to focus their energy and enthusiasm into something that might make Mom feel more special when she got home. Unfortunately she returned before we had a chance to finish our plans.
This last weekend our Church had a get together to show the staff how much we appreciate all they do as we minister together in our church and to our community. I was a little worried about a small turn out for our get together. I was amazed at the number of people that showed up and the amount of cards of appreciation and food that was brought to celebrate and honor our staff.
We like to be honored. We like for others to tell us and show us that we have done a good job or that we have been missed. I think that we need to be celebrated from time to time.
But I am beginning to think just as much as we need to be celebrated, we need to celebrate others. For our kids it was not just that mom and dad were coming home, but there was a buildup of excitement as they waited for our return. I think those that attended our staff appreciation get together were just as excited as the staff to be there and to enjoy the homemade ice cream and other goodies that were brought.
When is the last time you took the time to show someone else how you feel about them. When is the last time you made a phone call, sent a text message or an e-mail, or wrote a note to someone just to tell them you hope they are having a great day? When we take the time to show others how much they mean to us, we begin to see how truly blessed we are.
Take some time today and celebrate someone. Can you allow the excitement to build as you peek out your window waiting for your neighbor to find the card or baked goodies you left for them… Can you allow the excitement to build as you wait for a phone call or an e-mail letting you know you didn’t have to do that, but it means so much… Can you allow the excitement to build around you as you see how truly blessed you are by your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your co-workers?
My wife recently spent a few days away from us with some of the friends she made while in college. My wife had barely walked out the door when the kids started asking if we could have a surprise for her when she returned home. They kids wanted to decorate our daughters room like a cave (we have recently gone to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and I think that was still on their minds) with bats and a few leopards. I tried to focus their energy and enthusiasm into something that might make Mom feel more special when she got home. Unfortunately she returned before we had a chance to finish our plans.
This last weekend our Church had a get together to show the staff how much we appreciate all they do as we minister together in our church and to our community. I was a little worried about a small turn out for our get together. I was amazed at the number of people that showed up and the amount of cards of appreciation and food that was brought to celebrate and honor our staff.
We like to be honored. We like for others to tell us and show us that we have done a good job or that we have been missed. I think that we need to be celebrated from time to time.
But I am beginning to think just as much as we need to be celebrated, we need to celebrate others. For our kids it was not just that mom and dad were coming home, but there was a buildup of excitement as they waited for our return. I think those that attended our staff appreciation get together were just as excited as the staff to be there and to enjoy the homemade ice cream and other goodies that were brought.
When is the last time you took the time to show someone else how you feel about them. When is the last time you made a phone call, sent a text message or an e-mail, or wrote a note to someone just to tell them you hope they are having a great day? When we take the time to show others how much they mean to us, we begin to see how truly blessed we are.
Take some time today and celebrate someone. Can you allow the excitement to build as you peek out your window waiting for your neighbor to find the card or baked goodies you left for them… Can you allow the excitement to build as you wait for a phone call or an e-mail letting you know you didn’t have to do that, but it means so much… Can you allow the excitement to build around you as you see how truly blessed you are by your family, your friends, your neighbors, and your co-workers?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Imitation
I am always amazed when my children imitate my mannerisms, or copy something I do or say. I have a black Texas Tech hat that is usually attached to my head. During my slacker days of college I would get up throw on my hat and go to class. As I matured I and left with my wife for seminary in Kentucky, I would get up and throw my hat on and go to class. Now, on days away from the office, that hat is usually plastered to my head. Until recently…
Our 20 month old son has developed a liking for MY hat. In fact, I am not really sure it is my hat anymore. If I am wearing the hat, he points at the hat and “asks” (ok so it is really a string of grunts, but I know what he means) to wear his daddy’s hat. He will walk around for hours with my hat on.
He is starting to imitate phrases that my wife and I use. I frequently see our other children in him as he learns to climb or say new words. I guess I also see a little bit of myself and Rebecca, after all, they all have imitated us at some point. I guess if you think too much about it, I can see a little bit of my mom and dad, and Rebecca’s mom and dad in my children’s mannerisms.
Our children imitate us because they want to be more like the grownups. We rarely think about it but they watch us to see what we do or how we do something, then they go and do likewise.
Sometimes it can be humbling to be a parent. My kids think so much of me that they want to imitate me, they want to do the things that I do, and they want to spend time with me. It happens more often than I would like, but there are times I act in a way I would be very embarrassed for my children to act. There are times I say things that my kids would be in trouble for saying, and it doesn’t make these things any better when my wife lovingly points out I would not want them to be imitating me at that particular moment…
Are we careful about how we act, because others are watching us, not in some creepy stalker way, but there are those who respect us and we may never realize it? They watch and they imitate. Eventually someone is going to watch and imitate those that watch and imitate us. Are the lives we are living, are our actions, or words worthy of being imitated? We can strive to do and be someone whose life encourages others do strive for more, or we can do whatever we want no matter how it affects others, and there will be those who do likewise.
Our 20 month old son has developed a liking for MY hat. In fact, I am not really sure it is my hat anymore. If I am wearing the hat, he points at the hat and “asks” (ok so it is really a string of grunts, but I know what he means) to wear his daddy’s hat. He will walk around for hours with my hat on.
He is starting to imitate phrases that my wife and I use. I frequently see our other children in him as he learns to climb or say new words. I guess I also see a little bit of myself and Rebecca, after all, they all have imitated us at some point. I guess if you think too much about it, I can see a little bit of my mom and dad, and Rebecca’s mom and dad in my children’s mannerisms.
Our children imitate us because they want to be more like the grownups. We rarely think about it but they watch us to see what we do or how we do something, then they go and do likewise.
Sometimes it can be humbling to be a parent. My kids think so much of me that they want to imitate me, they want to do the things that I do, and they want to spend time with me. It happens more often than I would like, but there are times I act in a way I would be very embarrassed for my children to act. There are times I say things that my kids would be in trouble for saying, and it doesn’t make these things any better when my wife lovingly points out I would not want them to be imitating me at that particular moment…
Are we careful about how we act, because others are watching us, not in some creepy stalker way, but there are those who respect us and we may never realize it? They watch and they imitate. Eventually someone is going to watch and imitate those that watch and imitate us. Are the lives we are living, are our actions, or words worthy of being imitated? We can strive to do and be someone whose life encourages others do strive for more, or we can do whatever we want no matter how it affects others, and there will be those who do likewise.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Turtle Races
On a recent trip I was able to take a few moments and drive through my hometown. I turned off the highway and down the main street only to find that it was blocked off. One of my traveling companions asked why the street was blocked off, and I told them it was because of the turtle race. I was given a very funny look after my answer. Apparently not everyone grew up having an annual turtle race.
The turtle race was a big deal when I was growing up. Several weeks before the race you would begin looking for turtles. When you found one you would go downtown to Hensen’s and register for the race. In the time leading up to the race we would feed our turtle, and walk our turtle, to make sure he was at his best for the race. The day of, or sometimes the day before, we would decorate our turtles (so we would know if our turtle was the winner). At race time you would take your turtle out to a wooden square area in the middle on the main intersection of the downtown area. The race began when the judges lifted up the wooden square, releasing the turtles to begin the race. The judges would “rush” to all four sides of the intersection so they could declare the winner.
Thinking about it now, it seems a little silly. But when I was younger for several weeks there was nothing more important. Every year we looked forward to the race day, because race day was really more than just race day. The Turtle Race was part of our communities 4th of July Celebration. There was a parade, a BBQ lunch on the courthouse lawn, crafts and other items for sale everywhere, fundraisers galore (from Cow Patty Bingo to the Cheerleader’s Dunking Booth). There was a rodeo that night, and a dance at the end of the day. It was a day to be with family and friends. It was a day to laugh, a day to remember, a day to enjoy the best of our community.
There are times I miss those times together with family and friends, not so much for myself but for my kids. That was the day we heard the “old stories” from Mom’s friends, stories about the “good ole days.” Those stories helped make sense of the world we lived in, why so and so didn’t get along with someone else, or why something happened…
But those are my memories. My kids would probably not enjoy my hometown’s celebration as much as I used to, but that just means I get to make different memories for my children. I get to find different ways of telling them “old stories,” to do different things to connect with friends and family, and the community we are trying to become a part of. What memories are you helping your kids make? Are they memories of connecting with others, of being a part of the larger community at its best? Or are the memories we are helping them make of isolation, of being disconnected, of being a part of a community at its lowest?
I hope that the memories I help my kids make are as vivid, as special, as important, and at times as emotion invoking as the memories my Mom and my Dad made for me.
The turtle race was a big deal when I was growing up. Several weeks before the race you would begin looking for turtles. When you found one you would go downtown to Hensen’s and register for the race. In the time leading up to the race we would feed our turtle, and walk our turtle, to make sure he was at his best for the race. The day of, or sometimes the day before, we would decorate our turtles (so we would know if our turtle was the winner). At race time you would take your turtle out to a wooden square area in the middle on the main intersection of the downtown area. The race began when the judges lifted up the wooden square, releasing the turtles to begin the race. The judges would “rush” to all four sides of the intersection so they could declare the winner.
Thinking about it now, it seems a little silly. But when I was younger for several weeks there was nothing more important. Every year we looked forward to the race day, because race day was really more than just race day. The Turtle Race was part of our communities 4th of July Celebration. There was a parade, a BBQ lunch on the courthouse lawn, crafts and other items for sale everywhere, fundraisers galore (from Cow Patty Bingo to the Cheerleader’s Dunking Booth). There was a rodeo that night, and a dance at the end of the day. It was a day to be with family and friends. It was a day to laugh, a day to remember, a day to enjoy the best of our community.
There are times I miss those times together with family and friends, not so much for myself but for my kids. That was the day we heard the “old stories” from Mom’s friends, stories about the “good ole days.” Those stories helped make sense of the world we lived in, why so and so didn’t get along with someone else, or why something happened…
But those are my memories. My kids would probably not enjoy my hometown’s celebration as much as I used to, but that just means I get to make different memories for my children. I get to find different ways of telling them “old stories,” to do different things to connect with friends and family, and the community we are trying to become a part of. What memories are you helping your kids make? Are they memories of connecting with others, of being a part of the larger community at its best? Or are the memories we are helping them make of isolation, of being disconnected, of being a part of a community at its lowest?
I hope that the memories I help my kids make are as vivid, as special, as important, and at times as emotion invoking as the memories my Mom and my Dad made for me.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
10 years....
My wife and I recently celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary. Looking back over the last ten years my life has definitely changed. Little did I know that decisions I made back then would lead me to where I am now. There are decisions I regret, things I would undo if I could, words I wish I had left unsaid. But, there are have many little surprises along the way that I never would have anticipated.
Ten years ago I was a Youth Director for a church in Lubbock, about to begin an internship ministering to college students. My wife was preparing to start her first year of teaching elementary school. We then moved to Kentucky where we both attended Seminary and each received a Masters Degree. We have lived in two states, 4 cities/towns, and 6 houses/apartments. We went from being a family of two, to being a family of six.
Life seemed so much easier back then. There were less meetings, more time with our friends, less talk about budgets, more time for spontaneity, less dirty diapers…
Looking back always makes me look forward. What goals should I have accomplished over the past 10 years? What do I regret doing? What do I rejoice over accomplishing? How can I make the next ten years better?
Recently our City Administrator said it is reasonable to project our cities population could double and almost triple over the next ten years. A 600 home development has been proposed for our community, and there is talk of a second development. There is talk of new businesses coming to Clyde. There has been work done to make our downtown area look more attractive.
We stand looking through a doorway of opportunities and possibilities for the next ten years. What will we do? Will we make a community we can take pride in, or will we be a loose affiliation of people who live in close proximity to each other. Will we make strides in being a place where our children will want to raise their children, or will we be like so many other communities who see their children leave only to return for holidays and a few special occasions?
I never could have imagined ten years ago the things I have done, the things I have been a part of, the blessings I have received. I look forward to the next ten years with my wife. I also look forward to the next ten years for this community. There are things I hope for, there are things I want to work towards, and I know that I will be amazed by the little surprises that pop up now and again.
In ten years as we look back at what we have accomplished, what will we say about the work done in our families, our neighborhoods, our businesses, our community?
Ten years ago I was a Youth Director for a church in Lubbock, about to begin an internship ministering to college students. My wife was preparing to start her first year of teaching elementary school. We then moved to Kentucky where we both attended Seminary and each received a Masters Degree. We have lived in two states, 4 cities/towns, and 6 houses/apartments. We went from being a family of two, to being a family of six.
Life seemed so much easier back then. There were less meetings, more time with our friends, less talk about budgets, more time for spontaneity, less dirty diapers…
Looking back always makes me look forward. What goals should I have accomplished over the past 10 years? What do I regret doing? What do I rejoice over accomplishing? How can I make the next ten years better?
Recently our City Administrator said it is reasonable to project our cities population could double and almost triple over the next ten years. A 600 home development has been proposed for our community, and there is talk of a second development. There is talk of new businesses coming to Clyde. There has been work done to make our downtown area look more attractive.
We stand looking through a doorway of opportunities and possibilities for the next ten years. What will we do? Will we make a community we can take pride in, or will we be a loose affiliation of people who live in close proximity to each other. Will we make strides in being a place where our children will want to raise their children, or will we be like so many other communities who see their children leave only to return for holidays and a few special occasions?
I never could have imagined ten years ago the things I have done, the things I have been a part of, the blessings I have received. I look forward to the next ten years with my wife. I also look forward to the next ten years for this community. There are things I hope for, there are things I want to work towards, and I know that I will be amazed by the little surprises that pop up now and again.
In ten years as we look back at what we have accomplished, what will we say about the work done in our families, our neighborhoods, our businesses, our community?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Outsiders
Eight youth and 4 adults from our community spent last week in Wyoming. These 12 people spent a week with people from Lander Wyoming, from the Wind River Reservation, from Oregon, Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, and Illinois. In all there were 76 “outsiders” who had come to work on houses, and work with children for the week.
We left early on Saturday morning July 3. We stopped for lunch in Amarillo before continuing our journey, trying to make it to Longmont, CO before it was too dark. I drove our bus to Amarillo and I knew that we needed to fill up with gas before we continued on our journey. My plan was to drive to a gas station after lunch, fill up, and then let one of the other adult drivers get us further down the road. That was my plan…
After lunch we took a few photos, and I forgot what I had planned to do. So, I handed the keys to one of the other adults and found a place on the bus. I was lost in conversation when I remembered we needed gas, that was about the same time the driver asked, “Um, did we need to fill up before we left Amarillo?” I got a sick feeling in my stomach, I could just see us running out of gas between Amarillo and Channing, with no cell phone reception and no one coming by for hours. I do not know how our driver did it, but somehow she got us the 30 miles to Channing. We drove through Channing, I could have sworn that they had an Allsup’s or some type of convenience store with a gas station. We reached the edge of town and turned, somehow we had missed the gas station. On our second pass we found it. We pulled in and I went inside to ask them to turn the pump on so we could fill up. Before I could ask my question they told me they were out of gas and wouldn’t get any more until Monday. They thought the next town might still have some gas, but they weren’t sure.
The owner returned and siphoned some gas out of his truck. A pastor came by and brought a few more gallons to help us get to Dalhart (because the gas station in Hartley was closed for the weekend). The pastor keeps a few gallons handy, apparently we are not the first vehicle to run out of gas in Channing when the gas station is out of gas.
These two men went out of their way to help our group of “outsiders” in their community, people they had never met before, and more than likely would never come in contact with again. Their generosity, and their hospitality were overwhelming as we worried about getting not only to our destination for the evening, but also our final destination.
This experience left me wondering, Do those in our community offer hospitality to those who are only passing through? Are we generous to those who are only passing through? Sometimes it helps us to be “outsiders” in other places, so we can be more aware of how we treat the “outsiders” we come in contact with.
We left early on Saturday morning July 3. We stopped for lunch in Amarillo before continuing our journey, trying to make it to Longmont, CO before it was too dark. I drove our bus to Amarillo and I knew that we needed to fill up with gas before we continued on our journey. My plan was to drive to a gas station after lunch, fill up, and then let one of the other adult drivers get us further down the road. That was my plan…
After lunch we took a few photos, and I forgot what I had planned to do. So, I handed the keys to one of the other adults and found a place on the bus. I was lost in conversation when I remembered we needed gas, that was about the same time the driver asked, “Um, did we need to fill up before we left Amarillo?” I got a sick feeling in my stomach, I could just see us running out of gas between Amarillo and Channing, with no cell phone reception and no one coming by for hours. I do not know how our driver did it, but somehow she got us the 30 miles to Channing. We drove through Channing, I could have sworn that they had an Allsup’s or some type of convenience store with a gas station. We reached the edge of town and turned, somehow we had missed the gas station. On our second pass we found it. We pulled in and I went inside to ask them to turn the pump on so we could fill up. Before I could ask my question they told me they were out of gas and wouldn’t get any more until Monday. They thought the next town might still have some gas, but they weren’t sure.
The owner returned and siphoned some gas out of his truck. A pastor came by and brought a few more gallons to help us get to Dalhart (because the gas station in Hartley was closed for the weekend). The pastor keeps a few gallons handy, apparently we are not the first vehicle to run out of gas in Channing when the gas station is out of gas.
These two men went out of their way to help our group of “outsiders” in their community, people they had never met before, and more than likely would never come in contact with again. Their generosity, and their hospitality were overwhelming as we worried about getting not only to our destination for the evening, but also our final destination.
This experience left me wondering, Do those in our community offer hospitality to those who are only passing through? Are we generous to those who are only passing through? Sometimes it helps us to be “outsiders” in other places, so we can be more aware of how we treat the “outsiders” we come in contact with.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Forgive
I was almost in an accident with my family the other day. It would have been my fault had the accident occurred. I was not paying close enough attention and in my reaction to the situation I almost hurt (or worse) my family and the family of another traveler. Fortunately for all involved others had much better reactions to the situation than I did. I have thought a lot about that moment and what could have been. So many “What if…” or “what might…” questions have filled my head as I think back on this moment. Some of the most disturbing questions have been: Would I be able to forgive myself if the unthinkable happened? Would that other family be able to forgive me?
How often do we not see “it” coming? We feel our lives are destroyed because one incident, one accident, one circumstance changes the trajectory of our lives. But it does not have to be that way. I believe most people do not know how to forgive. We do not know how to forgive ourselves, and we do not know how to forgive others. If we were able to forgive we might just have an easier time to put things back together.
Things happen to us. For some horrible things happen that make it difficult to continue to live life. At the heart of not being able to move on is the inability to forgive someone else, to forgive ourselves, or at times to forgive God. Because we cannot forgive, we cannot move forward.
One definition of forgiveness I have come across says “Forgiveness is the wiping out of an offense from memory; it can be affected only by the one affronted. Once eradicated, the offense no longer conditions the relationship between the offender and the affronted, and harmony is restored between the two.” They use a lot of big words to say the one who is offended chooses to let go of an offense to continue a relationship with the offender. How often do we “forgive” someone but harmony is never restored between us? Forgiveness has to do with giving up some of our rights. I have a right to be upset with them… I have a right to make them pay for what they have done… I have a right to…
Forgiveness lays aside those rights to mend the relationship, to restore the harmony between us. Too often we think we forgive and forget. But, how often does our mind wander back to situations and we think of a better come back, or another way to deal with someone who has offended us? Someone once told me forgiveness is a lot like an onion. You have to deal with it a layer at a time, and it might make you cry.
Are you able to truly forgive others, or to truly forgive yourself? Are you able to let go of things so that relationships can be mended and harmony be restored? Or do you settle for artificial forgiveness? Do you forgive but hold a grudge? Do you forgive but constantly bring up all the things they have ever done to you?
We do not always see “it” coming, but what we do with “it” is a choice. Will you choose to truly forgive?
How often do we not see “it” coming? We feel our lives are destroyed because one incident, one accident, one circumstance changes the trajectory of our lives. But it does not have to be that way. I believe most people do not know how to forgive. We do not know how to forgive ourselves, and we do not know how to forgive others. If we were able to forgive we might just have an easier time to put things back together.
Things happen to us. For some horrible things happen that make it difficult to continue to live life. At the heart of not being able to move on is the inability to forgive someone else, to forgive ourselves, or at times to forgive God. Because we cannot forgive, we cannot move forward.
One definition of forgiveness I have come across says “Forgiveness is the wiping out of an offense from memory; it can be affected only by the one affronted. Once eradicated, the offense no longer conditions the relationship between the offender and the affronted, and harmony is restored between the two.” They use a lot of big words to say the one who is offended chooses to let go of an offense to continue a relationship with the offender. How often do we “forgive” someone but harmony is never restored between us? Forgiveness has to do with giving up some of our rights. I have a right to be upset with them… I have a right to make them pay for what they have done… I have a right to…
Forgiveness lays aside those rights to mend the relationship, to restore the harmony between us. Too often we think we forgive and forget. But, how often does our mind wander back to situations and we think of a better come back, or another way to deal with someone who has offended us? Someone once told me forgiveness is a lot like an onion. You have to deal with it a layer at a time, and it might make you cry.
Are you able to truly forgive others, or to truly forgive yourself? Are you able to let go of things so that relationships can be mended and harmony be restored? Or do you settle for artificial forgiveness? Do you forgive but hold a grudge? Do you forgive but constantly bring up all the things they have ever done to you?
We do not always see “it” coming, but what we do with “it” is a choice. Will you choose to truly forgive?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Seeing Others
“I just want to thank you for seeing me. Most people don’t.”
We were recently in Fort Worth visiting my sister-in-law. We decided to go to downtown Fort Worth to the Water Gardens. My wife and I visited the Water Gardens several times while we were dating, engaged, and while on our Honeymoon. We were on vacation trying to make some memories for our kids, and we wanted to share a place with them where my wife and I had made some memories. While we were walking from the parking lot my wife’s sister-in-law had directed us to, my wife and I remembered a book we had read not too long ago. Same Kind of Different As Me tells the story of an international art dealer, a homeless man, and the woman who brought them together. In the book, Denver, the homeless man, tells a story about how a lot of the homeless men in the downtown Fort Worth area bath in the Water Gardens. My wife and I began to share with her sister Denver’s story and a little more about the book.
Our children ran ahead of us into the Gardens. I caught up with them while my wife and her sister continued to talk as they strolled towards the Gardens. When I caught up to our children, I sat down with our youngest while the others ran around waiting for the girls. Not long before my wife and her sister caught up with us a man walked by and I said hi to him. When the girls caught up we started the journey of getting strollers down several flights of stairs. While moving the strollers I heard “Excuse me… I just want to thank you for seeing me. Most people don’t.”
Tom was making his life in the downtown area of Fort Worth. Tom had been hit hard by the economic down turn. He lost his job, his vehicle, and eventually his apartment. We talked for a bit. He shared with me about his life, about his experience on the streets, and the loneliness of feeling isolated and being treated less than human by those who walked the downtown streets. My saying hi to him meant something. I saw him.
When I was in College I remember someone telling me that in a certain language “Hello” actually meant “I see that you are here with me.” How often do we not “see” others around us? We go out of our way to avoid “those” people, or to stay out of “that” part of town… How often do we pass others who just need to be acknowledged? We don’t have to go to a big city to come into contact with those who are not seen by most of the people around them, they are here in our community as well. They too may have been hit hard by the economic down turn, or unfortunate circumstances have led them into a life they would rather not be living. More often than not we choose not to see people, because we are afraid of what seeing them might cost us, time, money, etc. But when we choose not to see others, we choose to withdraw a little from community, from sharing our life. The simple act of saying hi, of waving, of asking how someone is doing may change their day, their attitude, their life because someone took the time to see them.
We were recently in Fort Worth visiting my sister-in-law. We decided to go to downtown Fort Worth to the Water Gardens. My wife and I visited the Water Gardens several times while we were dating, engaged, and while on our Honeymoon. We were on vacation trying to make some memories for our kids, and we wanted to share a place with them where my wife and I had made some memories. While we were walking from the parking lot my wife’s sister-in-law had directed us to, my wife and I remembered a book we had read not too long ago. Same Kind of Different As Me tells the story of an international art dealer, a homeless man, and the woman who brought them together. In the book, Denver, the homeless man, tells a story about how a lot of the homeless men in the downtown Fort Worth area bath in the Water Gardens. My wife and I began to share with her sister Denver’s story and a little more about the book.
Our children ran ahead of us into the Gardens. I caught up with them while my wife and her sister continued to talk as they strolled towards the Gardens. When I caught up to our children, I sat down with our youngest while the others ran around waiting for the girls. Not long before my wife and her sister caught up with us a man walked by and I said hi to him. When the girls caught up we started the journey of getting strollers down several flights of stairs. While moving the strollers I heard “Excuse me… I just want to thank you for seeing me. Most people don’t.”
Tom was making his life in the downtown area of Fort Worth. Tom had been hit hard by the economic down turn. He lost his job, his vehicle, and eventually his apartment. We talked for a bit. He shared with me about his life, about his experience on the streets, and the loneliness of feeling isolated and being treated less than human by those who walked the downtown streets. My saying hi to him meant something. I saw him.
When I was in College I remember someone telling me that in a certain language “Hello” actually meant “I see that you are here with me.” How often do we not “see” others around us? We go out of our way to avoid “those” people, or to stay out of “that” part of town… How often do we pass others who just need to be acknowledged? We don’t have to go to a big city to come into contact with those who are not seen by most of the people around them, they are here in our community as well. They too may have been hit hard by the economic down turn, or unfortunate circumstances have led them into a life they would rather not be living. More often than not we choose not to see people, because we are afraid of what seeing them might cost us, time, money, etc. But when we choose not to see others, we choose to withdraw a little from community, from sharing our life. The simple act of saying hi, of waving, of asking how someone is doing may change their day, their attitude, their life because someone took the time to see them.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Imiatation is the highest form of flattery...
It is said that imitation is the highest form of flattery. But do we really believe that? Do we really believe that?
Sometimes we do consider imitation flattery, other times it is the last thing we really wanted to do. How many times have you been going about your own business and suddenly you have to stop because of something you did or said? The next thing you do is utter those words that send a cringe through your whole body, “That sounded like something my mother would say” or “That’s how my dad used do to…” Now you have told yourself over and over that you would do things different than your parents, but we find ourselves time and time again doing things like our parents. We do not intentionally imitate our parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles but we do.
I cannot count the number of times (that may have something to do with having four kids) I have come home to find my wife staring at our kids. I’ll ask what she is doing and she’ll tell me to watch. Eventually she will have to tell me that the kids are doing something just like me, or just like her. It is sort of flattering to see your child imitating you. Our children imitate because they do not know how to do things. They watch their parents, their grandparents, older siblings, etc. to see what they do, and how they do it. Eventually the “what” or “how” is not enough and they begin the constant learning by asking “Why?”
We learn to do things by imitating others. We see something cool on TV or on YouTube and we have to go see if we can do it. We imitate our favorite player by making the winning goal, or throwing the winning touchdown as we “practice.” My younger brother is preparing for medical school. He has “shadowed” several doctors this summer to learn what they do, how they do it, and later has opportunities to ask why they do what they do. Often when we start a new job we have someone assigned to “show us the ropes.” We imitate them until we get the hang of things. To paraphrase an author I frequently refer to “Do it until it is yours.”
There are times we intentionally imitate others. There are other times we are mortified to realize we have been imitating others. But we all do it. We all imitate someone. The question is, who are we imitating and why? Are we imitating those who make us better or do we imitate those who bring us down?
Sometimes we do consider imitation flattery, other times it is the last thing we really wanted to do. How many times have you been going about your own business and suddenly you have to stop because of something you did or said? The next thing you do is utter those words that send a cringe through your whole body, “That sounded like something my mother would say” or “That’s how my dad used do to…” Now you have told yourself over and over that you would do things different than your parents, but we find ourselves time and time again doing things like our parents. We do not intentionally imitate our parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles but we do.
I cannot count the number of times (that may have something to do with having four kids) I have come home to find my wife staring at our kids. I’ll ask what she is doing and she’ll tell me to watch. Eventually she will have to tell me that the kids are doing something just like me, or just like her. It is sort of flattering to see your child imitating you. Our children imitate because they do not know how to do things. They watch their parents, their grandparents, older siblings, etc. to see what they do, and how they do it. Eventually the “what” or “how” is not enough and they begin the constant learning by asking “Why?”
We learn to do things by imitating others. We see something cool on TV or on YouTube and we have to go see if we can do it. We imitate our favorite player by making the winning goal, or throwing the winning touchdown as we “practice.” My younger brother is preparing for medical school. He has “shadowed” several doctors this summer to learn what they do, how they do it, and later has opportunities to ask why they do what they do. Often when we start a new job we have someone assigned to “show us the ropes.” We imitate them until we get the hang of things. To paraphrase an author I frequently refer to “Do it until it is yours.”
There are times we intentionally imitate others. There are other times we are mortified to realize we have been imitating others. But we all do it. We all imitate someone. The question is, who are we imitating and why? Are we imitating those who make us better or do we imitate those who bring us down?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Great Minds Discuss Ideas
I recently came across a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. “Great Minds Discuss Ideas; Average Minds Discuss Events; Small Minds Discuss People.”
I first saw this quote several weeks ago and I jotted it down. My mind has come back to this quote frequently over the past few weeks.
Why is it that so many of us settle for discussing people? Why is it that so many of us limit our discussions to events that took place? Why is it that too few of us discuss ideas (the whys behind the events or the people)?
It is easy to talk about people. We would have done that differently, can you believe what they did… It is much easier to talk about events. For some reason it is not so easy to discuss our ideas. Our ideas are more personal. What if they don’t understand my ideas, what if they don’t like my ideas, what if they clip my article out of the paper and pass it around to others and have a good laugh at my expense…
The ideas, the answers to the why’s of life are the things we need to spend time sharing. Recently I began to go through the history of Clyde First United Methodist Church. I have shared some of the things I have learned with the saints that attend this Church. In our 107 year history there have been a lot of people; we could spend hours discussing the people who have attended this church, what they did, and for many why they left. There have been a lot of events held at this church or hosted by this church; we could spend many hours discussing the events that have taken place. As I went through the church history I began to see a pattern. The events changed, the people changed but the ideas (the answers to the why did we do that) seldom have.
The answers to the why’s, the ideas behind so much of what we do are spelled out differently for each group we are a part of, for each family we come in contact with, and often for each individual. The ideas may be spelled out differently but a common thread in all of them is that, in sharing an idea, sharing part of our self, sharing our answer to the why’s of life we share a part of who we are with others. In sharing a part of ourselves we become more vulnerable, but we also become more connected to those we share with.
Even in writing this article, wanting to share some of my ideas, I feel very vulnerable in sharing them. But maybe, it takes me being more vulnerable. Maybe it takes you being more vulnerable. In doing so others can know me and know you and as we share our ideas (not just discussions of events or people) we share ourselves and together we can continue to build our community.
I first saw this quote several weeks ago and I jotted it down. My mind has come back to this quote frequently over the past few weeks.
Why is it that so many of us settle for discussing people? Why is it that so many of us limit our discussions to events that took place? Why is it that too few of us discuss ideas (the whys behind the events or the people)?
It is easy to talk about people. We would have done that differently, can you believe what they did… It is much easier to talk about events. For some reason it is not so easy to discuss our ideas. Our ideas are more personal. What if they don’t understand my ideas, what if they don’t like my ideas, what if they clip my article out of the paper and pass it around to others and have a good laugh at my expense…
The ideas, the answers to the why’s of life are the things we need to spend time sharing. Recently I began to go through the history of Clyde First United Methodist Church. I have shared some of the things I have learned with the saints that attend this Church. In our 107 year history there have been a lot of people; we could spend hours discussing the people who have attended this church, what they did, and for many why they left. There have been a lot of events held at this church or hosted by this church; we could spend many hours discussing the events that have taken place. As I went through the church history I began to see a pattern. The events changed, the people changed but the ideas (the answers to the why did we do that) seldom have.
The answers to the why’s, the ideas behind so much of what we do are spelled out differently for each group we are a part of, for each family we come in contact with, and often for each individual. The ideas may be spelled out differently but a common thread in all of them is that, in sharing an idea, sharing part of our self, sharing our answer to the why’s of life we share a part of who we are with others. In sharing a part of ourselves we become more vulnerable, but we also become more connected to those we share with.
Even in writing this article, wanting to share some of my ideas, I feel very vulnerable in sharing them. But maybe, it takes me being more vulnerable. Maybe it takes you being more vulnerable. In doing so others can know me and know you and as we share our ideas (not just discussions of events or people) we share ourselves and together we can continue to build our community.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
More Than Food...
My mom passed away 15 years ago, but if I try hard enough I can still remember eating one of her strawberry cakes. She only made her strawberry cake for me on my Birthday. Every once in awhile, when I am not feeling so good, I remember helping Mom make Potato and Onion Soup. This was one of the meals she would fix when we were not feeling well, or when one of her friends were not feeling well.
My wife and I started Seminary in 2001. We were in Kentucky missing many of our friends and family back in Texas. Around Mid-terms my brother sent us a care package. Not knowing what was in the package I left it in our car all day while we were attending classes. That night when we opened up the package we were surprised to see 2 loaves of Mrs. Baird’s bread, cans of Wolf Brand Chili, and several other items we had not found suitable substitutes for in our new Kentucky home. That evening a friend from Texas who was also attending Seminary came over so we could prepare for one of our Mid-Terms. Earl brought over some tuna fish salad he had made earlier that day. That sandwich with Earl’s tuna fish and the bread from my brother that had spent all day in a hot car, is possibly the best meal I have ever eaten.
Food is always around us. We use food to celebrate momentous occasions in our lives (Graduation, Weddings, Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc.), but it also is used to comfort those who grieve. We grab a cup of coffee just to catch up or to talk with a friend when they are having a rough day. We have so many memories tied to food, Dad cooking out on the grill, Mom or Grandma making our favorite dish because we are coming over…
But these memories are usually less about the food, and more about the people we share these moments. I loved my Mom’s strawberry cake, but it is really about her taking the time to bake a cake just for me because she knew how much I enjoyed it. My Mom’s Potato and Onion Soup is probably not much different than anyone else’s, but the memory of her standing over the stove cooking soup for someone who was feeling ill, while she was battling cancer, left an impression on me. That tuna fish sandwich we had is more about sharing a meal and our lives with our friend Earl and being reminded that there were people back home in Texas that loved us and missed us.
For the past few months my family has gotten together on a weekly basis with another family to have Breakfast for Dinner. Our kids love this and love playing with their friends. My wife and I enjoy it because it is a time to sit and visit, to laugh, and sometimes gripe and complain. It is a time where we share who we are with others. How do you share your life with others? Is it inviting friends, family, or neighbors over for a meal? Or is it when you stop by to visit someone you know has been struggling with their health or struggling with circumstances they find themselves in? You never know, you might be the answer to someone’s prayer when you stop to share a meal, a cup of coffee… your life with someone else.
My wife and I started Seminary in 2001. We were in Kentucky missing many of our friends and family back in Texas. Around Mid-terms my brother sent us a care package. Not knowing what was in the package I left it in our car all day while we were attending classes. That night when we opened up the package we were surprised to see 2 loaves of Mrs. Baird’s bread, cans of Wolf Brand Chili, and several other items we had not found suitable substitutes for in our new Kentucky home. That evening a friend from Texas who was also attending Seminary came over so we could prepare for one of our Mid-Terms. Earl brought over some tuna fish salad he had made earlier that day. That sandwich with Earl’s tuna fish and the bread from my brother that had spent all day in a hot car, is possibly the best meal I have ever eaten.
Food is always around us. We use food to celebrate momentous occasions in our lives (Graduation, Weddings, Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc.), but it also is used to comfort those who grieve. We grab a cup of coffee just to catch up or to talk with a friend when they are having a rough day. We have so many memories tied to food, Dad cooking out on the grill, Mom or Grandma making our favorite dish because we are coming over…
But these memories are usually less about the food, and more about the people we share these moments. I loved my Mom’s strawberry cake, but it is really about her taking the time to bake a cake just for me because she knew how much I enjoyed it. My Mom’s Potato and Onion Soup is probably not much different than anyone else’s, but the memory of her standing over the stove cooking soup for someone who was feeling ill, while she was battling cancer, left an impression on me. That tuna fish sandwich we had is more about sharing a meal and our lives with our friend Earl and being reminded that there were people back home in Texas that loved us and missed us.
For the past few months my family has gotten together on a weekly basis with another family to have Breakfast for Dinner. Our kids love this and love playing with their friends. My wife and I enjoy it because it is a time to sit and visit, to laugh, and sometimes gripe and complain. It is a time where we share who we are with others. How do you share your life with others? Is it inviting friends, family, or neighbors over for a meal? Or is it when you stop by to visit someone you know has been struggling with their health or struggling with circumstances they find themselves in? You never know, you might be the answer to someone’s prayer when you stop to share a meal, a cup of coffee… your life with someone else.
Change is Growth
Change takes place all the time. But for some reason many in our society have a negative reaction to change. Or I should say they have a negative reaction to change they do not like. Changes that we like, we do not really consider to be change, just life getting better. It is the change we do not like that really gets all the bad publicity.
For many, this time of year brings about a lot of change. Our High School Seniors graduate and begin the next leg of their journey. For parents it may feel like they are losing their child, as they become more independent, as their child continues their transition into adulthood.
For others, this is the time of year where months of planning come to fruition. Months have been spent in preparing for the Wedding Day (hopefully they have also spent time preparing for the marriage that comes after that day). Two individuals make vows to each other before family and friends. Two families are joined together. Two people share their lives and their futures with each other. Major changes take place in the relationship between the bride and groom, between the happy couple and their families.
For many in our community there have been changes through the loss of a loved one.
Our bodies change every day as old cells die and new ones take their place, as hair falls out and new ones take their place, as we ingest food to help us survive, burning calories or storing them for future use…
Change can be a good thing. Change is growth. To be honest there are times I do not like change. For instance, I have been noticing that the hair on my head seems to be creeping backwards, and I have noticed that hair is appearing in places that are not as wanted. I know that is small potatoes when it comes to the changes in life, and the circumstances many of you are dealing with. At times change is more of an inconvenience than it is real change.
Change is growth, not always the growth we want, but it is growth. Once we stop growing we start dying. I know that change is coming. Soon my kids will be out of school for the summer. Soon we will be spending more time in the backyard and at our new city park. And much sooner than we think we will see our kids go back to school and face the changes of new classes, new teachers, a new school building…. I don’t know what change will take place today, tomorrow, this week, next month, this summer…but I do look forward to seeing the changes and the growth in my children, and I hope to see some changes and growth in myself. How about you? What types of changes are you anticipating? Are you dreading them, or looking forward to the growth they bring?
For many, this time of year brings about a lot of change. Our High School Seniors graduate and begin the next leg of their journey. For parents it may feel like they are losing their child, as they become more independent, as their child continues their transition into adulthood.
For others, this is the time of year where months of planning come to fruition. Months have been spent in preparing for the Wedding Day (hopefully they have also spent time preparing for the marriage that comes after that day). Two individuals make vows to each other before family and friends. Two families are joined together. Two people share their lives and their futures with each other. Major changes take place in the relationship between the bride and groom, between the happy couple and their families.
For many in our community there have been changes through the loss of a loved one.
Our bodies change every day as old cells die and new ones take their place, as hair falls out and new ones take their place, as we ingest food to help us survive, burning calories or storing them for future use…
Change can be a good thing. Change is growth. To be honest there are times I do not like change. For instance, I have been noticing that the hair on my head seems to be creeping backwards, and I have noticed that hair is appearing in places that are not as wanted. I know that is small potatoes when it comes to the changes in life, and the circumstances many of you are dealing with. At times change is more of an inconvenience than it is real change.
Change is growth, not always the growth we want, but it is growth. Once we stop growing we start dying. I know that change is coming. Soon my kids will be out of school for the summer. Soon we will be spending more time in the backyard and at our new city park. And much sooner than we think we will see our kids go back to school and face the changes of new classes, new teachers, a new school building…. I don’t know what change will take place today, tomorrow, this week, next month, this summer…but I do look forward to seeing the changes and the growth in my children, and I hope to see some changes and growth in myself. How about you? What types of changes are you anticipating? Are you dreading them, or looking forward to the growth they bring?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
My wife and I lived in Kentucky for four years while we were attending Seminary. While there I overheard a story several times. I think the story is more legend than reality, but it gets at the heart of something we all deal with.
After the 1950 Football season the University of Kentucky, who had gone undefeated in the regular season, beat the #1 ranked Oklahoma Sooners in the Sugar Bowl. Kentucky claims the National Championship; the NCAA says they were Co-Champs. At the end of the 1950-51 Men’s Basketball season the University of Kentucky celebrated their third basketball championship.
At the end of the year the Athletic department held its annual Athletics Banquet. At the Banquet the Head Football Coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant was given a watch to honor him in leading his football team to an undefeated season and (at least a share of) a National Title. At the same Banquet the Men’s Head Basketball Coach, Adolf Rupp was given a Cadillac to honor him in leading his basketball team to a 32 -2 record and a National Title.
The story goes Bryant knew at that point he could never make Kentucky a “Football School.” A few seasons later Bryant bolted for Texas A&M (in 1954), while Rupp coached the Wildcats until 1972.
Now there are those in the Bluegrass State who refute this story, and like I said I am not sure it isn’t more than legend, but it tells us something about ourselves.
Both coaches were hired to equip their players and lead their teams to having more wins than loses. It was hoped that these coaches would lead their teams and players to Conference Championships and possibly even to National Championships. However, what they said they wanted and how they acted tell different stories. Unfortunately, many of us do the same. Kentucky said they wanted Championships, their actions tell us they really wanted basketball championships and they would accept football championships.
In our lives do we say we want a strong healthy community, or tighter family relationships, or to live a healthier life, etc. But do our actions tell the same story? If we want a community that is strong and healthy we have to participate in community events, be involved in things happening within our community. If we want tighter family relationships we have to spend time with our family engaged in conversation, engaged in activities together, engaged in each other’s lives. If we want to live a healthier life we have to actually make the decisions to live healthier.
We may wish for these things, but they won’t just happen. We have to consciously and actively make decisions so our actions match the story we tell.
After the 1950 Football season the University of Kentucky, who had gone undefeated in the regular season, beat the #1 ranked Oklahoma Sooners in the Sugar Bowl. Kentucky claims the National Championship; the NCAA says they were Co-Champs. At the end of the 1950-51 Men’s Basketball season the University of Kentucky celebrated their third basketball championship.
At the end of the year the Athletic department held its annual Athletics Banquet. At the Banquet the Head Football Coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant was given a watch to honor him in leading his football team to an undefeated season and (at least a share of) a National Title. At the same Banquet the Men’s Head Basketball Coach, Adolf Rupp was given a Cadillac to honor him in leading his basketball team to a 32 -2 record and a National Title.
The story goes Bryant knew at that point he could never make Kentucky a “Football School.” A few seasons later Bryant bolted for Texas A&M (in 1954), while Rupp coached the Wildcats until 1972.
Now there are those in the Bluegrass State who refute this story, and like I said I am not sure it isn’t more than legend, but it tells us something about ourselves.
Both coaches were hired to equip their players and lead their teams to having more wins than loses. It was hoped that these coaches would lead their teams and players to Conference Championships and possibly even to National Championships. However, what they said they wanted and how they acted tell different stories. Unfortunately, many of us do the same. Kentucky said they wanted Championships, their actions tell us they really wanted basketball championships and they would accept football championships.
In our lives do we say we want a strong healthy community, or tighter family relationships, or to live a healthier life, etc. But do our actions tell the same story? If we want a community that is strong and healthy we have to participate in community events, be involved in things happening within our community. If we want tighter family relationships we have to spend time with our family engaged in conversation, engaged in activities together, engaged in each other’s lives. If we want to live a healthier life we have to actually make the decisions to live healthier.
We may wish for these things, but they won’t just happen. We have to consciously and actively make decisions so our actions match the story we tell.
Friday, March 26, 2010
First Thoughts
I have been thinking a lot about my Dad lately. He left this life almost 14 years ago, but there are still days I wish he was here to give advice. There are many days I do not feel prepared to be a dad or even old enough/mature enough to be a dad.
My dad was a unique man. He always had a distinct smell, I always attributed it to him working with and being around chemicals all day. In my mind he was always a little awkward, physically and socially. But that was dad.
There were times he would get pretty upset with me because he did not know when my games were, or when a performance was, or an awards ceremony, but I know I told him, at least once. Then there were times after a game, or performance, or ceremony that he would come over and tell me how proud he was. There was a time in 7th grade when he came to our first home football game. I broke my arm in the first quarter, Mom came over to the Ambulance where they were putting a splint on my arm, and then she began to try to find a way for us to get to Amarillo so I could get a cast. It was not until after the game when someone said something about my injury that my Dad realized I was the injured player. There was another time in Jr High when I was supposed to sing a special during worship on Youth Sunday. At the last minute my special was cut because we were going to get out too late and some things had to be cut. When we got out of Church 20 minutes early Dad had a few words with our Youth Director. But that was Dad.
There were times I was horrified I was related to him, and other times I could not have been any prouder. To this day there are things I cannot figure out why he did what he did. But I always knew that he loved me. But that was Dad.
My Dad, and many others, have taught me what it means to be a dad. As my children grow, I hope to be the example to them that so many have been for me. I hope that my kids will be able to look past my quirks and my odd habits and see my love for them.
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